I am fortunate to have health insurance through my job.   I know that many people do not have that luxury these days due to the rapidly rising cost of premiums.  Health costs are astronomical; we all know it, we all hate it.  What gets me though is that medical billing is like no other business out there.

How many business do you deal with that don’t tell you up front pricing, can bill you for months and seemingly even years later from the various parties involved, and can provide terrible service with no assurance of quality or outcome?  Let me break that down.

When you head in to a hospital for care, you have no idea what things will cost.  Of course they don’t always have time to explain every treatment option and applicable pricing for you to make a fiduciary decision at every step of the way.  That said, it would be nice to know up front based on your insurance what your costs are going to be for the daily stay, doctor fees, etc.  In the heat of the moment, you are not going to be ticking off a list of what you can afford, but I do know I am the type as a parent that I would like to have a daily summary of my increasing bill printed out so I know what to expect once treatment is finished.

I always wonder if hospitals don’t want to produce an ongoing bill for you because they are afraid you will find their errors because it is so fresh on your mind.  Do they wait months to start sending out bills so you have let the individual procedures and people involved slip your mind and just have to trust that they got things right?  Perhaps they don’t have any idea themselves until they get some creative accounting underway and see what your insurance will tolerate, then send the remainder of costs on to you to cause another heart attack and start the treatment/billing cycle all over again.

Then comes the way billing takes place.  Getting billed much later is not the only kick in the gut you are going to receive later on; it is the repeated kicks that really get you down.  Usually the facility itself is the first to arrive in your mailbox, large and in charge.  After you work your way through that painful check writing process, then comes the treating doctor.  Yep, they bill separately.  Did you need any anesthetics in the process?  Yep, different billing group for that.   How about oxygen therapy…they have their own bill.  Physical or occupationaly therapy…the list goes on.  Even if all these treatments are housed and received under the same facility, they all have their own billing, and it all adds up big time.

Now, on to the quality of service and guarantee of outcome.  Ok, I realize doctors cannot insure you will always get better simply due to the nature of various injuries.  I think I am typically a reasonable guy.  I do think there should be some discount or reduction in costs if they fail to accomplish the tasks they set out to do.  That kick in the gut I mentioned about delayed billing is nothing like the one you receive when you are paying for services that failed.  I have a friend that talked to me about how painful it was to pay the bills for a difficult late term miscarriage they went through.  Yes, after having lost a child at near full term they had to pay costs that exceeded had the child actually been born.  Let’s just kick them when they are really down.

Given the fact that medicine cannot solve all things, at least there should be some measure of the quality of service received and the ability to challenge fees when those services do not meet the required criteria.  I know I have personally experienced mistakes and failings that have gone on to actually hurt a child of mine in a very real way.  Though I never took this to a legal recourse, I likely could have.  With so much fear of legal battles the medical field cannot even reveal an ounce of wrong on their part for fear of big liabilities; because of this, we have no means of oversight or quality assurance in the care we receive.

All this comes to mind because of the recent hospitalized care my son is receiving.  He was quickly moved to a care facility for his needs, but now that we are working through the treatment we have begun talking to the billing department to get a handle on what our costs are going to be.  We are finding that even after what insurance covers our costs of being in this outfit rival a full hospitalization.  As I mentioned in a previous post, we have had very frank talks with his treatment team on the ineffectiveness of most of what they are doing, to which they actually agree.  Will we receive a discount because of their lack of ability to effectively treat my child…of course not.  1/3 of the treatment team seems adept at what they are doing, and that is the primary side of what we came for anyway.  So, for the other doctors involved, I really don’t feel justified in paying them for services they cannot effectively render.  Of course the cost of the facility is fixed, and the doctors are billing on top of that.

In the end, I will pay the fees and move on; I really do not have a choice.  Before you receive any services they force documents on you that are essentially a blank check.  You promise your life away so they will begin care.  In effect the document you sign says you will pay whatever they deem necessary to bill associated with the treatment of your child.  Other than medicine, what business these days could get away with that?

The entire problem is enough to send any parent into a deep funk anyway, but what had me really bummed is my complete lack of confidence in one part of his treatment team.  The direction they were taking things, or should I say lack of direction, and the fact that we had an inexperienced resident practicing on my child was not what I needed to see.  After one meeting with this individual I was disgusted and ready to yank my kid out of their entire program.

For as much as I talk a big story online, I really don’t like conflict.  I end up trying to be a diplomatic fool in most cases trying to assuage hurt feelings or avoid them entirely.  This was one of those situations where avoidance was not an option; this is my kid’s well being we are talking about.  So, for today’s meeting my wife and I went in with some pretty specific concerns and requests to discuss, possible hurt feelings be darned.

Full of intent and with more than a bit of adrenaline pumping throw my veins anticipating push back on our concerns, we headed into the meeting.  After a few formalities we dived right in.  There was little back and forth as we plowed through our recent efforts with our son and the failings we were observing in his treatment and the entire situation at the treatment facility.  Then without any dramatic pause that we might have anticipated, the resident fully agreed.

Just like that we realized she had observed the same lack of effectiveness and the fact that our son didn’t click with her on any level.  She was recommended replacing herself with another doctor or moving to an outpatient program as quickly as possible.  I was pleasantly surprised.

Though I still don’t feel like she was ready to treat my son, I respected her for recognizing and accepting the fact that she wasn’t the best fit for the situation.

Today life sucks a little less.  We actually have a potential time line to bring my son home and continue his therapy in an outpatient situation.  Trials are always easier for me to deal with when there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

So, sometimes you just gotta say it, whatever “it” is.  Just like the eBay commercials, right?  Often your big anxieties will be solved better if you just take the challenge head on, even if the challenge is a potentially difficult one.

My oldest son is severely disabled, which has always been a difficult thing for me to come to terms with, but for the most part it has become a part of our lives. I still hold resentment for some of the ways his disabilities came about, but you can’t harbor those forever and life continues on whether you deal with it or not. He is a loved part of our family, for which there has never been a question.

We have been blessed with three other healthy children and work hard to be the best parents we can for them. At least we thought thought they were fully healthy. Recently another of my children has been developing some severer personality issues that have started to effect his everyday life negatively. After nearly a year of buying books and trying every possible parenting technique we could think of, we finally started seeing a child psychologist. Within two sessions more drastic treatment has been advised and started this week. It has been crushing to watch him in such emotional pain and need that such measures are necessary. I can only try to imagine what is going on in that little head and hope we can find the right treatment to help him.

As I have mentioned often in other posts, I am a problem solving kind of guy. I like knowing a solution and working towards it. When there is no clear solution to be had and when you have to put the care of your child into the hands of others, there is a total feeling of helplessness that in no clearer terms, sucks. I am not 100% confident in the care he is currently receiving, but there is really nothing more we can do. We have to put our trust into a system that I have had poor results with another child and pray for the best.

So, today, life sucks. I try to come up with a positive outlook on things, and often talking through it and voicing my frustrations. I had some good venting session with my friends at work, which helps me to some degree; at least in my ability to move on with the day. The day really only sucks because I really care about my child and want him to get better. I have to trust in others to do that, and that sucks.

There have been a few people that know something has been going on, so there you have it. No need to worry about our family other than we appreciate concern and look forward to working our way through this. We have a wonderful network of friends that have helped us farm out our other kids while we spend time with our urgent need, and for that we are very grateful. It is at times like this you really learn to appreciate such relationships.

I do come by this weakness honestly…weak stomachs run in my family.  I love roller coasters, but I often try various remedies to get keep motion sickness at bay.  I used to not have a chance at them, but now I typically go ahead and take on the ride, then spend the next hour paying for it.  Oh well, the price of fun.

Exhaust though has one of those unique ways of just turning my stomach into knots and bringing on that extra saliva in the mouth preparatory of an upcoming expulsion of the previous meal.  Not all exhaust is equal either; diesel wins the contest hands down for having the most nauseating effect.  I have never been a fan of diesel trucks for this reason (among others), though current trucks have gotten much better.
I think of this because the other day the construction of a new building directly next to my office has an excavator idling his backhoe right next to our back door during his break.  Yep, for the 15 minutes he sat there, the exhaust density mushroomed into a cloud I walked right into without realizing what I was getting into as I left the office.  I wanted to walk over, open his door and turn off his machine for him.  All waste and environmental considerations aside, idling that machine right next to an occupied office building was far less than considerate.  Our air conditioning units were all of 20 feet away from his chosen spot of relaxation.  Thanks a lot buddy.

So, with my genetic weakness, you will rarely see me letting a car idle in the garage or find me standing near a vehicle running for any period of time if I can avoid it.  Not only do I not need that in my lungs, I really don’t need to feel like I am going to lose my lunch either.

I hate to think of the buildup of all that exhaust in our atmosphere, but that is for another day.

Perhaps one of the worst parts about a pinched nerve is how it can come in two forms, constant pain or only when you move a certain way.

Today I have the periodic version coming from high in my shoulder region that hurts whenever I turn my head more than 5-10 degrees either direction.  I can’t really say which form of nerve pain is worse, because they both just plain suck; today I am siding with the periodic version because it seems to have a sick, taunting personality of its own.  Every time I let myself forget that the pain is there, I turn my head to look at something/someone and BAM! it hits me like a ton of bricks!  I feel like slapping myself every time I do it, but then that would make it even worse.

Nothing like a good reminder ever so often that you are an idiot and cannot remember even something that will hurt every time you do it…even minutes later.

I have done the chiropractor in the past, but honestly I hate going to those guys.  Getting an “adjustment” does work, but I hate the badgering to start up a twice a week visit schedule for as long as your insurance will cover you.  Has there ever been such a blatant attempt to milk your pain for their gain?

Tonight I am trying out a massage therapist to see if they can do the job with less hassle and hopefully a little more enjoyment in the process.  I sure hope they can make it go away.  Pretty please.

I was trying hard to think of a funny topic I felt like writing this morning, but this situation has weighed so heavily on me I just couldn’t get my mind around anything else.  We never like to hear about someone getting hurt, but when it is so close to home and people we care about, the distress is much harder.  Nothing is harder than when your immediate family is affected, but friends come in a close second.  I can’t even imagine what her husband is going through right now.

What to do to help the family is always difficult at this point.  They have extended family close by, so their kids are being well taken care of.  The husband is a school administrator, so he is able to take time off during the summer to do whatever he needs to at the hospital.  I just never know whether to contact someone or just not bother them during their time of grief.  This family has many friends in the neighborhood and area, so I know they are being hit from angles with offers of support; yet, I don’t want to say nothing and have them no realize we are here if they need us.

Unfortunately I have had many extended hospital experiences with various family members.  I know what matters to me most is having ways to pass the time.  That may sound callous, but when you are in for the “long haul” you will have a lot of time on your hands that you need to fill with something other than fretting about the one you care about in pain.  For someone that is less familiar with staying at bedside for an extended time, it may come across as insensitive if I were to offer to them a batch of movies and a way to watch them.  Yet, that is exactly what I would like to do for this friend.

Another difficulty is wanting to know the latest status, especially when there is not much to tell.  The last thing this friend needs is a constant stream of calls from various people wanting to know what is going on.  Retelling the details of what you do know, plus expressing that you don’t know anything else knew can be very frustrating.  I was grateful that his extended family had the foresight and tech savvy to put up a blog yesterday for status updates.  Now friends and family can visit the site, express their support and concern all in one location without interfering hourly.
So for now, I have left my comments on their blog of support and I will sit back and wait.  The most likely time they will need help is when he is awake and coming home; then we can step in and do everything that friends can and should do in times of need.   Perhaps in a day or two I will see about the movie thing, when he has had a chance to process everything he will need to do and the time to fill waiting.  If you have a chance, say a little prayer for her speedy recovery.  Her name is Jill; loved wife and mother of four.

Don’t you remember all the pain and anguish of dealing with acne as a teen?  I hated it, but that’s not novel, we all did.  Oh sure, some of you may have been blessed with perfect skin, but the rest of us dealt with this beast for years.  I feel fortunate that my dealings were pretty minimal compared to those with extreme cases, but it didn’t feel like it at the time.  As a teen, that glaring pimple is all anyone can see when it shows its ugly head.

They always showed up in the worst places too.  Right on the tip of the nose, all over the chin, etc.  Anywhere that everyone can see it and no way to hide it.  I was always embarrassed, but then I was a pretty self-conscious teen.  I got over it.

I can remember thinking as a teen how I can’t wait to get past all this and finally be an adult without acne problems.  Yep, there was one more instance I was naive.  Thankfully my adult skin problems are nothing like as a youth, but its still there.  Kind of a gross self-revelation, but I’ve revealed worse things in life.

Is this plight something just to keep my ego in check?  If so, I don’t need it!  I am reminded in plenty of other ways of my fallibility thank you very much.  I don’t need the painful, ugly blemishes as a reminder.  Just like as a teen, they always seem to come at the most inopportune times too; but then is there ever an opportune time for a zit?

I promise that I have good personal hygiene, that isn’t the problem.  I clean up good, so my wife tells me.  I even lotion up my skin better than the average guy…I think.  Though I am not experiencing a Job-like plague, these periodic little volcanoes of joy still drive me nuts.

I guess we can’t be perfect.  If this is my one thing I have to endure, then so be it.  Oh wait, what about all those other imperfections.  Darn it.

What is the deal with allergies anyway.  Our bodies can learn to fight off various illnesses, but we still get all worked up over certain pollens?  Is this just a warped way to remind us that deep down we are sensitive?  I don’t need to be that in touch with my feelings…really!

I haven’t had allergies all my life.  About when I turned 30 they kicked in, which is fairly typical I have discovered for when adult onset allergies come along.  Now that I have them, I really feel sympathetic for those that have had them all their lives.

Allergies for me take sneezing to an all new level.  I sneeze so hard and for what seems forever that every muscle in my body aches like I have run a marathon…if I had ever run a marathon and knew what that felt like.  It flat out hurts.  That pain keeps me on drugs, and I am the type that hates taking any drugs I don’t have to.  I put off taking Tylenol and deal with some pain rather that popping a pill.

Every so often when I think I might be past whatever pollens are bothering me, I stop taking the allergy pills.  I usually dread in a couple of days when I do that and the sneezing fits kick in again.  That recollection of pain keeps me taking the pills pretty consistently from Spring until Fall now without fail.  I have never gone to a doctor to get tested and find out exactly what pollens are my nemesis, so I just cover all my basis by sticking to it.

I guess I should feel fortunate that allergies didn’t kick in for me until there was a cheap option to deal with it that doesn’t have any side effects.  I have seen it for those that are worse.  I have seen my brother with full body hives due to his out of control symptoms.  I just remind myself it could be much worse.

So if you are with me, whether as a lifer or late bloomer in the allergy club, welcome to the season.  Ahchoo!

So why is it I have such a hard time getting to sleep?

I want to sleep, I try to sleep, I just can’t fall asleep until the moment when I can barely keep my eyes open.  Truthfully, I know why.  I stress about things, and when I do, those things pass through my mind constantly until I can think of a solution.  Then once I have a solution, I go over that solution repeatedly in my mind.  I can’t turn it off, and until my brain just doesn’t have any more power to work on, it just keeps going.

So everyone has their suggestion, which of course  works for them but rarely does a thing for me.  Counting sheep is the old favorite, but that never did anything for me.  Falling asleep with the TV on is not an option my wife would let me try, and when I have tried it in another room, I just stay awake engaged in what I am watching anyway.  Ever heard the warm milk suggestion”¦blech!

What typically works for me is reading a good (read that brainless mystery) book for 30 minutes or so, which gets my mind off the matters of the day and slowing down so I can rest.  Problem is always having a book I am interested in to read.  I have read most everything of the authors I like, so it is always a quest to find a new author that is up to par.

Of course for many years this situation worked wonders for me, giving me many more productive hours for my entrepreneurial ventures as I worked on the computer late into the night until I was practically dipping my head into the keyboard.  I just don’t have the stamina for it anymore.  I blame that on my kids.  I still do tend to stay up late reading things on the computer, but my ability to be productive late at night is far less than in the past.

What makes it worse is if I don’t get to sleep quickly at night, I use that as an excuse to turn off my alarm and skip the gym the next morning.  I need that gym time to get invigorated and to work on shedding the extra 20 lbs I have been trying to lose for some time.

Insomnia in my life just has to go.  It sucks, no other way to put it.  I need the ability to fall asleep on demand so I can wake up in the morning early to get my day going right.  So do you have this problem, and if so, what do you do?

Now having recently had a baby (four months ago) I have jumped back on the healthy and fit bandwagon. I have been working out for about 3 months and have gradually added to my routine to get fit. Well yesterday I decided to up my weights while doing my strength training and now I am really paying for it. And while I am sitting here looking at the things I really should be doing, I fear walking for the pain! So I ask you why oh why didn’t my body stop me from torturing myself. There wasn’t any inkling that I would be in so much pain today. Your body just lets you go on thinking you are stronger than what you are. “10 more squats? Sure, no problem” Fast forward to morning….Trying to get out of bed to get your kid off to school only to have him laughing at ya. “Mom, you walk funny” If looks could kill, he would be a goner.

So heed my warning, beware of the evil voice in your head that tells you that you can keep going and going without any regard to your well being. consider yourself warned!