January at the Overcrowded Gym
Jan 3rd, 2007 by Jeremy
This could be titled New Year’s Resolutions Part 2 but I figured people might think I am hung up on resolutions. No, this is me hating one of the symptoms of it being a new year. Yes, everyone has their good intentions and at least for a couple of weeks they are doing something about it. People are actually going to the gym to become that slimmer, healthier person they have always wanted to be. That is a good thing; I’m trying to slim down as well. So why do I hate this? Because the gym is absolutely packed and those of us that have been going with some level of regularity now have to deal with every decent machine and workout station filled to capacity with some well-intentioned overweight individual.
Gold’s Gym, 24 Hour Fitness, and every other gym foams at the mouth for the coming of the new year because they know they will be getting a ton of new memberships signed up to go along with those resolutions. Yes, you can get a great discount if you sign up for one year in advance. And how about this great savings for two years, do I hear three? The reason is so obvious why they do this it is painful. They know that on average people will use less than three months of an annual contract. Talk about a gravy train. Sure January and maybe February will be a pain with overuse, but they can overbook all they want knowing that the rest of the year will see use far lower than capacity.
I don’t fault the gym for their business model though - it is out decision to sign up for these long contracts in the heat of our “I’m going to change” misguided moments. I just want you out of my way when I am at the gym so I CAN actually get in better shape without waiting for an available station. Go assuage your conscious somewhere else while I sweat away my pounds.
I do have to admit, though, that having all the newcomers provides some level of entertainment. I guess you could compare it to the accident waiting to happen, with me onlooking hoping to see watch it. For those that are regulars, you tend to recognize the other regulars and someone new stands out not only because of their girth. Their first day back, full of vim and vigor, hitting that exercise bike/eliptical/whatever at full power. This is your body still tricking you into thinking “you still have it.” Your muscles will give everything they have to appear and feel like you can do the exercise. Just wait, you will pay the piper. The next day as you try to roll out of bed, every joint and muscle will scream in protest. Guess what, the 2nd day is actually the worst. I know, I have been through this cycle more times than I would like to admit.
So, as we get into week 2 of January, that is when the fun begins. Now all of a sudden these newbies are fun to watch as they struggle to get any speed at the lowest setting on whatever the cardio torture device of their choice. You can see the pain registering in their eyes as they try to fake like it doesn’t. Some will push through and stick with it, but they are far in the minority. Most will plan on 5 days a week, actually muster up 3. After a few weeks it becomes 1 with a token Saturday visit to make it 2. The following week becomes “At least I drove by the gym, that counts for something, right?”
Right now I have skipped the gym 2 mornings already knowing how packed it is going to be. It is actually a deterrent for me. I will be there tomorrow though, but I am going to go at the barely tolerable hour of somewhere around 5:30 am just to miss the crowd. You see I have learned that 6 am is the preferred time of the morning version of these do-good-wannabes; and if I want a chance at a good spot in the cardio chamber, I have to beat them there. I shudder to think of what it is like at night, when most of this crowd ends up going. I am so already looking forward to February when things start to clear out and get back to normal.
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umm, yeah, that’s why I skipped going the last two days.. Right…
Ah crap, I really gotta go back.
I’m with you on this one. Can’t even get a parking space. This morning there were people actually in line to get on a treadmill. And the cardio theatre was out of order. AARGHH! Mondays in January are even worse than other days. Mondays as a general rule are a microcosm of this phenomenon. People always say “I’ll start my workout program next Monday.” Fridays are usually about 1/2 as crowded at the gym as Mondays.
I have been told that I am going too far making fun of this topic because weight is a sensitive issue. I can understand that, but I wanted to post here so that everyone realizes I have 25lbs of my own to lose, so as always, look for the humor here, not the offense. I do believe we all have to learn to laugh at our own shortcomings though. If we are sensitive about something, perhaps laughter is the best medicine. Keep that in mind with everything I or anyone here writes.
All those wanna be’s I call that think they are going to work out on a daily basis will fade in the next few weeks of working out!!
Don’t forget that Access Bar before working out. It really does work.
I vote show up in tight HOT pink spandex…it’ll clear ‘em off the treadmill! Works for me! Also don’t wear deodorant…and skip that shower for a day or two…the machines will be your’s!
And you have 25 pounds to get off…I need to lose 25 pounds off my ONE arm! LOL! Gheesh! :)
Good Luck Jeremy!
Jeremy - Good luck at the gym. It is the words in your original post that has kept me AWAY from joining a health club, even though my orthopaedist has given me an Rx to join one. I sure as heck don’t want to go and be judged, laughed at, ridiculed. I get enough of that on a regular basis without adding to it.
I’ve put off checking out the local gym since 11/14/06. I’m waiting for the January wanna-bes to fickle out and then I might investigate.
Hey - and I better not catch you snickering at me when I’m trying my hardest while not knowing much about what I’m doing. If I do catch you, I’m gonna sit on you and smash you!
Winonna you crack me up. Hit that gym, go for it girl :) I am sure I have plenty of the fit and beautiful people snickering at me as I lift half of the plates they do (on a good day). Brian Regan has a great bit in his comedy act about being a first timer to the gym. For those of you that know his comedy, “I’m the 2 plate guy.” Actually, when I go consistently, I have the ability to get in good shape, it is just that consistency that is the bane of my existence.
My recommendation though is now that you have put it off for a couple of months, definitely skip January or at least go at an odd time if you can, like mid afternoon. It is a complete madhouse in the mornings and evenings.
I didn’t know this was such a hot topic, then I read Winona’s post. :)
Most of the time I love ranting and moaning about life, but this one just didn’t seem on the money for me.
Maybe it’s because I’ve never joined a gym. :)
tm
I’ve never joined a gym, because I know myself well enough to know that I won’t make it to the gym. Therefore I have a tredmill in my basement and free weights in my room. I work out on average 5 days a week so it works for me. I hate going to the gym, not because of what others think, but because of the actual getting there. I am not a morning person and I am too tired to get there in the evening.
So no worries you won’t be seeing my ample rear at the gym, but you may see it running down the street trying to train for that Relay Marathon in June….ha…wish me luck!
P.S. As one that has plenty of weight to loose (no that isn’t one of my resolutions, because I actually plan on doing this) I don’t think it is that sensitive of an issue to rant about. If you want a weight rant I can rant. I haven’t been over weight my whole life, only while having kids. So I can go into great detail about the not so plesant things associated with weight. (I really don’t think you want me to go there…hehe)
Besides what is so wrong with talking about weight? I guess I don’t understand why it is such a sensitive topic!?!?!?! Most of us have issues with weight, so why not get the frusteration of it off you chest? That would be a weight off my shoulders! (Pun intended) Hehe! If you can’t laugh about yourself then lighten up! Life is too short to find fault with every little thing.
Lezhai - I’ve got a treadmill too. It makes a nice place for storage!
I have spinal deformities and after 30 years, they now tell me I can do things I’ve been told for 30 years that I can’t. That messes with your head. So I went to some Physical Therapy, learned some exercises to help, and have been doing them at home. I have great pain while walking any distance - one leg is 1.5 inches longer than the other, I have an “S” curve in my spine, and I have spondyliothesis (look it up if you want) that causes great pain. I’m up for doing anything I can to relieve the pain and gain mobility.
The one thing a gym offers that will be great for me is water aerobics in a heated pool. Now that would be a picture to laugh at! But I love the water. I went from age 12 (when I was put in a back brace) until age 35, never swimming. I so loved to be in the water when I was a kid; really got sunburned as I floated in the lake. Now days, I’ll put on a swim suit when I travel out of state ’cause I don’t think I’ll be seeing anyone I really know or will see again. If they don’t like the way I look, then they can turn their heads. Now, putting on a swim suit in front of people from my area is a different thing. But I’m gonna do it.
Talking about weight is a good thing, unless you approach it like Donald Trump.
Amen to the Donald Trump comment!!!
YOu are a strong woman! I love Love LOVE swimming, and do miss doing it as often as I used to. It isn’t something that I have time to do right now. SOmeday I intend to get back to the pool! Sigh…someday!
I can relate too…the only year I joined a gym, ended up in a car accident and not being able to use it–and being billed for the priviledge!
So I stick with walking, stairs -both the ones in my house and the 11 flights up to my office - beledi dance on Wednesdays and morning workouts with stretches, free weights and my exercise bike.
I’d LIKE to lose about 20 pounds to be just above my high school weight, but my goal is to be able to increase the intensity of my workouts this year. And to make my son Teren get out of the house and do active things or use the weights/bike as well.
Model it now, and maybe he won’t have the issues later?