Food in Mouth Problems, i.e. Chewing With Your Mouth Open
Nov 15th, 2006 by What's Gotta Go
Today I thought I would pick an easy but much needed topic to discuss. Yes, chewing with your mouth open. If you read these first few sentences and find yourself perplexed that this could be a viable topic, then I am likely speaking directly to you.
Food is good. I love food, and recently my weight shows that fact a bit. I’m working on that, or least planning to :) There are really not that many foods I don’t like in fact. I enjoy the smells, flavors, satisfaction of being full. The only thing I really don’t like about food is seeing it in your mouth or hearing the process of it being chewed (mastication for all you over-educated types). There is not much in this world that bugs me more than this. If you want to drive me out of a room, I have just clued you in to a very simple way it can be done.
I have kids, four of them in fact, therefore this is an annoyance I deal with on a daily basis. I know my kids think of me as the grumpy old guy that is constantly reminding them to close their mouth when they chew, not to talk with their mouth full, etc. They need to establish the good habits now, not only for my sanity by that of all the other well mannered people of the world. Yet, with kids I have much more patience for it; hey, their kids. They are learning and they do try, their attention span just isn’t developed well enough to allow them to realize that what I just told them still applies 30 seconds later. They will get it eventually, if they live that long….
You all know exactly what I am talking about, admit it. Ever had a group of friends over for a meal, and there is that one guy (yes, usually a guy) that thinks the best time to talk is right after having taken a bite? Usually this person is annoying on many levels, including feeling the need to comment on every point made by someone else. This incessant need to continually be a part of the conversation prevents them from fully enjoying a single bit of food without displaying it for the rest of us to observe. Does he want us to see that he is eat the food, or does he really not want our eye contact when he is talking, because that is what ends up happening. We all try to look at each other, our plates, anywhere other than in his direction while bits of food splatter the plate, tablecloth and serving dishes around him. I try to take note of what was in his vicinity and avoid any seconds of that food item. Ever seen someone ask that a dish of food be passed their direction only for them to place it by them and not take any? There’s a reason…think hard, you’ll get it.
What really gets me is adults that haven’t picked up this simple ability to keep those lips together once you have put something in it. I don’t care if it is a meal at a table, snack in the office, gum in the car or nachos at the game. I am sure that food is great, I just don’t want to see or hear it in the process! You’re an adult, you’ve had a long time to pick up the skill. I think the worst part is my inability to say anything corrective to an adult on such a simple thing. Yes, my wife knows this drives me nuts, I can tell her anything of course. She is actually very good at the closed mouth thing, but I can’t even stand hearing a juicy apple chewed up right next to me when I am watching a show – this she does without thinking but gets the message when I pause the show until she is done with her apple :)
If you have any inclination to think I am wrong on this topic, and I’m not, just do a quick search on the web about “chewing with your mouth open.” Before I write most posts on this site I like to do a quick Google search to see what other people think. There is no shortage of comments. This “rate-it” site is just one example.
Back to adults though. Why can’t I say anything, because then I am the annoying guy that barks at people about stupid little things, like I’m perfect and don’t have annoying habits. Not going to be that guy. So, instead, I just fume, and try usually unsuccessfully to not notice it. Ever tried to do that, not notice things that bug you now that you have noticed it? Doesn’t happen. So what can I do? I think I am doing it now – try to raise my kids up right write about it here so that hopefully, maybe just a few people in the world will take note and shut their mouths, at least when there is food in it.
I can vouch for Jeremy’s difficulties with this, even when you chew with your mouth closed, you can be too loud for him. Growing up he would *scream* because he sat next to me, all because I chewed too loud.
And back then I thought he was just trying to give me a complex.
Wearing food. I love the people who cannot seem to get food just in their mouth. You know, that little bit of pizza sauce on their chin.
The normal response to someone of this sort would be…. “Are you saving that for later?” I have another idea. Instead of bringing it to their attention allowing them to save face and wipe it off, try allowing them to wear it for a while enjoying the rest of the night on the town. As people give them weird looks, stand behind your friend signaling the on-lookers with the old “He has had too much to drink” gestures.
It is really fun.
It grosses me out when people chew with their mouths open. It even grosses me out when little kids have food all over their faces. But that is a rant in and of itself! YUCK!
Neil….I must say that I totally guilty of wearing my food. Not on my face (wouldn’t someone FEEL if there was a dribble on their chin?) but on my shirt, and if I am wearing white it is destined to happen. No matter how careful I am it always seems to drip on my shirt. My husband teases me relentlessly about it. If I even put a white shirt on, he says that something will eventually drip on my shirt. And he is usually right! Argh!
That is the funny thing. You would think someone could feel sauce or dribble on their chin. Maybe they are so caught up in the moment of eating that delightful bbq chicken that they put off wiping their face. Then by the end of the meal they have forgotten it is there. LOL.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not hatin’ I love it. I have a family member that is guilty of this and usually, halfway through a meal, we have side bets running on how long it will take for him to realize that he forgot to wipe his chin. Hey, it keeps the night interesting. What fun huh?
Have to totally agree with you on this one Jeremy, the sound of someone eating really makes me shiver inside and of course if they are eating with their mouths open, even just for a few seconds, then the noise is far worse EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! Same as you as well in that I must seem like a real pain to my kids who I have constantly gone on at them abut it – I have to say, my grown daughter (18) never eats with her mouth open, so the nagging worked.
Neil, I like your idea of not letting on when someone has foodstuff on their face, very good, have to try that sometime.
I believe it is all caused by a genetic mutation that causes modern day humans to eat like we still live in the trees (and I wouldn’t be surprised it NOVA has a show on it soon) or I blame it on the Fast Food industry! You know all you lip smackers, finger lickers, slurppers, burpers and cud chewers…how can anyone expect genteel table manners when the current generation was raised in Fast Food restaurants? It’s not dining with the Queen eating meals served out of cardboard boxes by a guy in a clown suit…come on people! I don’t see linen napkins and the good china serving up a meal called The Whopper. The good manners that our Father Knows Best parents instilled in us during the 50’s early 60’s (showing my age here) has been slowly pushed aside in the rush rush of today’s world. Good manners take time and thought…and…effort…need I say more?
Ali…amen sista! Manners have gone the way of courtesy, respect and kick the can!
I have to admit this bugs the crap outta me! My father chewed with his mouth open…still does…& my 19 year old son does. Ive tried every meal time for the last 19 years to get him to CLOSE HIS MOUTH when chewing but he just doesn’t get it. He knows it grates on me…it’s like dragging nails down a chalk board…it gives me the willies & I have to leave the room often. Course the family laughs at my dilemma..but am I really asking too much??????
Caroline – that is even worse if they are doing it knowingly! I don’t think I’d last but a few meals before knocking someone upside the head. At least with my kids they TRY to fix the problem – not do it intentionally and laugh about it. Ugh.
My boyfriend chews with his mouth up and it drives me bonkers. And its a habit that we’ve been trying to break for ever. Any suggestions? LOL
Just told a coworker to not eat in my workspace. I have to leave the room when her or my boss take out something to eat. She did that the other day-took out her cheerios. I left the room in midsentence before she got a chance to start. Then she followed my to my work area. I told her I had to leave the room whenever she or my boss were eating. As she stood there staring at me with this dumb look and slurping up her cheerios, I told her really. This is my space. If you insist on making all that noise to eat, go back to your own space.
I did not feel the need to be any more polite about it than that.
Judging by all the other noises that started coming out of her office, I’d say she’s pretty pissed.
Oh well. My boss is getting told next.
Mike, you are my hero. I can think of no better way to hand it then that. Mouth noises are unacceptable, particularly the wet banana noise. A woman in the cubicle next to me makes wet mouth noises when she eats. She also whistles verrrry softly in a breathy way all day long. Would like to punch her in the *** cheeks, but instead have purchased a decent pair of headphones and block the sound out with music.
Jeremy, there must be some way we can raise awareness about this horribly disgusting habit that, unfortunately, a lot of people have acquired. I know I freak out at people who chew near me–it’s gotten to the point where I just don’t eat around other people.
Eric, it’s close to impossible, I’ve found, for the person making the noise to– 1) realize they are doing it, and 2) correct the behavior.
One example: After years of staring in horror at my friend while she ate, I finally worked up the courage to say, “You know, you chew with your mouth open.” And she looked at me IN MID BITE, of course, and said: “Yeah, I know,” and went back to eating.
How do you do it? How do you tell someone to stop? I share an office with someone and he chews his food in full volume while smacking his lips? What can I say and still maintain a cordial relationship with him?
I am so thankful that I am not crazy or super anal about this. My co-worker, a professional adult woman, does not know how to chew with her mouth closed. The lip smacking, the slurping, the chew sounds, I go mad! worst part is, I am usually doing my paperwork on the computer while she is behind me eating her lunch. I am too much of a weakling to say anything. I practice saying something to her in the car, I think about it at home before work. I am going crazy and she has no idea. I guess every time it happens I am still so shocked that she has no idea that she has horrible manners that I am too dumbfounded to act!
what can we do that is tactful and respectful but at the same time helps meet our needs as ‘mannered’???
Hey and Sarah,
Honestly I really have never been able to come up with a good way to address the situation other than head on. You can of course use tact and perhaps a little humor to lighten the mood about it, but otherwise you have to be pretty direct on the topic for people to realize that you actually *are* asking them to stop.
Rather than making a big deal out of it, though, I would simply mention it to them the next time it comes up. Perhaps start with a little humor like “wow, that lunch really sounds good.” They may smile or be a little surprised, depending on the person. Then I would just mention it with a smile saying “you know I may be really sensitive to it, but the sound of people eating just kills me.” Would you mind eating in the break room or at leat keeping the food sounds down?” At that point it is up to them to be offended or laugh about it with you.
Steer clear of letting them know their manners suck…that tends to put them on the defense for some reason :)
Please help!!! My best friend’s boyfriend is the nastiest eater I have EVER seen or HEARD!! I cannot take it anymore. I don’t have the heart to say anything to the boyfriend because it would hurt his feelings. My friend is the type to tell me to suck it up and deal with it. Occasionally this guy has even snorted while eating with his mouth open. He slurps his wine, then smacks his lips and then belches and don’t EVEN put a plate of crab legs in front of him, or caramels, or nuts or a marshmallow for that matter!!!!! Is this an attempt to get attention? I need to know wWHY someone eats like this and I need to know if I am to just suck it up and deal with it or tell him or just avoid them all together and hope my friend dumps him??!! I seriously CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE!
I live with my boyfriend and a good mutual friend of ours. My friend and I work together, and ALWAYS end up venting (veins bulging from our necks) about the previous nights meal. Although the blame being put on the fast food industry is probably very true in some cases, we have resolved that it is ultimately his MOTHERS FAULT! After close investigations, we found that she, too, eats like a horse. It’s like they would rather eat than breathe. Instead of taking his or her time eating, they insist on eating and (loudly) breathing simultaniously.
Another aspect of bad table manners relates to “that guy” who likes having platters, bags of chips, and (always) shared meals in VERY close proximity to him. Here’s our take on it: getting his “fare share” is his first priority. If anyone else, heaven forbid, gets even one more french fry than him, he feels that he got screwed. There is a dicotomy within this issue. Oh, yes. Speed eating. Who ever eats the fastest gets the most.
Last, but NOT least, the ultimate “nails on a chalk board”— utincels. Spoons: If you know someone similar to the above description, you will surely know of this annoyance. Soups, chili, cereal, etc. This is what goes through the mind, “Oh, God. It’s so good. I MUST get every last bite. Every last morsel. Every last grain of pepper.” KLING KLING KLING KLING KLING KLING. KLING KLING. KLING. Hidious.
Fork & Knife: Most people learned at an early age to saw NOT draw. This particular cave man cuts any type of meat by piercing it with his fork (so far so good). Next he uses his knife, not as a slicing tool, but more like a tearing utencil. I dont even know how to explain it. What I do know is that it litterally does make a noise like nails on a chalk board. Only in the comfort of my own home. End of story. Im so pissed off.
I hear alot about kids needing to mind their manners about chewing with their lips closed. That’s nothing. I eat with my dad twice a day and listen on while he masticates his food, smacking loudly and displaying it for all to see. Then after, picking his teeth with ocassional sucking noises. It discusts me to no end. But alas, mentioning it wouldn’t help, ( I have) he’s been doing it all his life, so doubt if he’ll change now, unlike a child that can be taught. Perhaps, I should don earplugs at meal time.
I agree 100% that this may be the most annoying popular habit (lack of manners). I have a co-worker who smacks open mouthed all day which drives me insane. To me it’s like nails on a chalkboard. If you haven’t yet seen the website gumblasters.com it’s worth a look. While I don’t think abolishing gum or food is the answer there are obviously many people who feel the same regarding the lack of manners. People, it’s easy, close your mouth when chewing. Thank you Mike for bringing this up.
This is one of the most disgusting habits that I can think of. Right up there with throwing cigarette butts on the ground!
God. My mother has recently (last 18 months) developed the habit if chewing with her mouth open. I can’t stand it. I have told her she sounds like a dog liking its ***, and she says that if other people don’t like it, they can leave. I can actually hear her chewing across the room. She spits food when she talks now, and she is seeing nothing wrong with this. In addition, my father has now fallen into the habit. It has gotten so bad that I purposely don’t invite her to things any more, because I can’t stand her, especially since shes always chewing gum.
I has gotten me so mad in the past, because she chewed loud, with her mouth open, on purpose, that I actually had to go into the bathroom just to avoid smacking her across her face. I cracked my middle knuckle punching the wall.
Oh yes this is TERRIBLE. I couldn’t stand to sit close to my mother growing up because of her DISGUSTING chewing noises- and if someone does it with their mouth open, I leave the table. It has to be the fact that so few people ever tell them how nasty they are, coupled with our culture’s ‘I don’t give a **** about anyone else’s comfort and this is somehow empowering and admirable,’ that has created this phenomenon.
So funny. In fact, my SO got into a HUGE argument over this habit just last night. People who chew with their mouth open should be dragged into a dentist office, mouths wired shut and given liquid diets until they can learn some friggin’ manners. Needless to say, my SO says he should be able to eat any way he **** well pleases in his own **** house and I should stop telling him to stop. I guess it’s a “my problem” thing and I will leave the table and leave him there to look like the cow he portrays. Thanks for posting this.
At work I sit opposite a guy who does this every day. And he eats a lot. Noisily. And he burps. I’ve heard the phrase ‘eats like a pig’ before, but didn’t really know what it meant until now. I have to literally duck my head behind my monitor when he’s having his lunch so I don’t have to watch, but I can still hear the slurps and grunts and snorts and burps…. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhh
Why does my co-worker eat ALL DAY LONG? I’m going to walk over to him, grab his food, and throw it against the wall. Nuff said.
I hate this. I’ve resorted to anonymously forwarding articles to my friend(s) about the problem. It’s sooooo disgutsting! And the worst part is, people get all bent out of shape because you point it out! Just as bad, is when they deny doing it in the first place, and even argue with you that they are not doing it. You have to resort to video taping them to prove it! Yeah, it’s that bad. They act all childish about it, and make it out like you are saying THEY are disgusting pigs, not just the action they’re doing. They make out to be a deeply personal attack!
My sister just doesn’t even care, and will make up every excuse about how she cant’ help it or just doesn’t care, and will even do it on purpose just to annoy me!
One of the worst ever of bad table manners!
i went out with a guy for 4 months until i noticed his eating..he took me to rome, which should have been amazing…but every morning i had to endure the eating habbits of a pig! buffet breki, everything on 1 plate, and i mean everything, it was put into the mouth, chomped with mouth open, slurping away, head continuously moving around, coffee swilled down mid chew to force it down…it was so awful, i tried to say a guy behind him was grossing me out with his mouth open eating, he laughed and carried on! it got to the point where i told him and reminded him continuously, when it didnt stop, i would slap his chin up to close his mouth! i fifnished with him obviosuly..i now have a guy who sits on the same desk as me, opposite to me who is just as bad and i have to lower my chair when he eats and raise my screen, he hasnt noticed yet…i wanna sream at him though, how can i tell someone who i work with every day?????HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP
I absolutely, positively, undoubtedly have a deep deep desire to physically mangle my father. He smacks unbeleivably loud. It’s so loud in fact that you can hear him eating in the house even when your outside the house and 40 yards away with all the windows and doors shut. I’ve been tormented with this since childhood. Now, I trully believe that I have a mental disorder because of it. It enrages me so much that I haven’t spoken to him for over seven years. Every time I even THINK of him putting something in his mouth my blood boils. I’m legitimately worried that someday I’ll lose my sanity and end up hurting him. I’ve been trying to get him to stop for over 26 years. Very often I contemplate ways that I can make him stop doing it. The way I think of the most is breaking his jaw. I’d just love to shatter it into a million pieces. That way, when it heals it’ll be fragile and wrought with pain, hopefully so much so that he won’t be able to smack anymore.
Love this post, I found it via Google when I realized that I could no longer suppress the urge to self-mutilate after hearing a co-worker smack her gum for the past 6 hours. Goodbye cruel world, I’m going to go slam my f-ing head in the door.
oh my gosh. My mom does this whenever she eats and it makes me want to kill her. When I tell her about it I get yelled at. It’s common dinner table manners for corn’s saake!
I hate it when people suck on candy and try to talk at the same time.. it makes this horrible sloppy sloshy noise for each constinent, and it drives me INSANE.. I leave the room immediately because it makes my spine cringe like nails on the chalkboard.
A person I live with does this regularly, and I don’t know how to approach it. Others have, but the disgusting habit keeps rearing its ugly little head. Slosh smack thomp… “bla bla bla” Slosh smak thomp…. bla bla bla…
TIP: Keep hard candy, like jolly ranchers, or other types of candy yo “suck” on to enjoy, OUT OF YOUR MOUTH when you intend to say something…
PLEASE for the sanity of those around you< I BEG YOU TO STOP.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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I honestly thought I might be the ONLY person in the world that got so stressed out about other people’s eating habits! I’m glad to know I’m not…
I get it from all angles.
When at work, my co-worker who sits diaganol to me is relentless.
He eats ALL day long and chews everything with his mouth open. You can hear the crunching and worst of all, the saliva! GROSS!
I get sooo irritated and make irritated grunts to no avail.
It’s almost unbelievable that he doesn’t know how absolutely revolting it is.
Then at home. My husband is not an angel, but I can yell at him and he’ll stop. But my 16YO stepson is just as bad as my co-worker.
He SLURPS his food! I mean, even a cheeseburger! Oh, it’s bad…
I have to get up from the table and eat in the living room to avoid losing my appetite.
I don’t know if anyone can answer this, but why does it bother us so bad?
I grew up in a home where manners and good eating habits were strictly enforced. You weren’t allowed to get up from the table without saying, “May I please be excused?”.
I guess my biggest problem is my co-worker. I sit in my cubicle for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week and have to listen to this.
I’m tempted to say something, but don’t have the courage. I thought about mentioning it to his supervisor, but didn’t think that was a good idea either. Anyone have any suggestions here?? It’s a daily dilemma for me and would welcome any good suggestions!! :)
This is honestly my number one pet peeve. My sister chews with her mouth open with everything she eats. My friend does the same thing, and I told him that he doesn’t have table manners last night and this is what he tells me. “When you chew with your mouth open it lets the oxygen in and refreshes the taste.” At that point I just wanted to punch him in the face, but I just told him to believe what he wanted to and to please not do that around me. The thing I don’t understand is what makes a person feel like chewing with their mouth open is right? Espcially when they’re opening their mouth all the way just to take another chomp? I digress. I’m starting to become irritated just thinking about it.
I sympathise heartily with all you long suffering victims. I too hate noisy eaters. My latest theory is that some folk have extra large tongues and slush everything around between their teeth, an open mouth makes even worse listening. Some people even spend an hour or so after eating, picking their teeth and sucking their nails which to me is even more disgusting. I agree that you can never tell anyone to stop as you are instantly branded a control freak or weirdo. Another horror is listening to high frequency cutlery squeak. Gives me a headache for hours. As a result I recommend individual eating cubicles and should be made compulsory.
As I am typing this post, my co-worker (an associate dean) is sitting directly behind me eating his 5th snack of the day. Smack, slurp, smack, smack. Arrrrgh! He annoys me to begin with but his breathing and eating are amplified for some reason. I want to turn around and tell him to stop for the love of god! I have to leave the room while he’s eating. Thanks for listening… I am leaving the room!
OMG I wish I could forward a link of this to this arogant, cocky, body building, piece of ****, I work withs email. Not only does everything about him piss me off (like his big ****ing head), but he to talks while eating. Snacking threw out the whole day, he also sits behind me, in a very quite office, and crunchy chips and monsters seem to be his favorites. Some help me, I am usually a very nice person, but this leg shaving, A hole, know it all, makes me want to strangle him.
Brand new job and I now share an office with a slurp-suck-slop-lick-tongue-slosher (SSSLTS). It started on the first day of work and I looked over in horror. I could not believe how disgusting it was. Why is it that people like this eat constantly throughout the day, as if their nasty vile mouths have to be going at all times?
I like this job but it’s only the first week. As of day 3 (today) I left our office whenever he started, but I need to work!
What about getting your own lunch or gross snack and trying to replicate or mimmick the disgusting SSSLTS so he realizes what he sounds like? Would that work? Seems risky when I’m trying to make a good impression at the new position. Going CRAZY. Seriously. It does come with a weird breathing component. It’s like they are breathing and slurping both in and out at the same time as chewing?
O my god Im glad someone feels me on this matter. As a matter of fact i am sitting in the room with my disgusting roomate right now just listening to the sloppy smacking and crunching of him eating taco bell. Whats worse is he washes the nastiness down with his drink and then crunches the ice so ******* loud its like he is trying to do it. I’m sorry but this pet peeve is maybe more than that as it can literally put me in a horrible mood for hours just at the sound and sight of the **** rolling around in his mouth. It should be illegal for someone to do this. Honestly people should be arrested for chewing with their mouth open. Sorry for the rant im just ******* disgusted and EXTREMELY annoyed.
I believe there is some sort of mental deficiency behind chronic open mouth mastication. Reading all of this, while funny, has reminded me of the horror I will face in a couple of days at Thanksgiving dinner. My step-father chews with his mouth open… but there is more to it than a lack of manners. There is some lack of maturation that goes down to the biological level. He is a disgusting man but you have a hard time hating him for it because he doesn’t know better.
Ugh, I can still picture that dumb face at last year’s Thanksgiving dinner just retardedly munching away as he blabs on about dumb old cars and NASCAR.
This guy also drinks beer everyday of his life. He built a bar in the kitchen with a space for a small refrigerator that is dedicated just for his beer. And the idiot acts proud about it. He recently bought a new refrigerator for it so he had to proudly ask me how I liked his new “beer fridge”… filled with about a case of Natural Light. So not only do I have to listen to this moron chomp away at his fatty overfilled plates of food, I get to here him slurping down that bottom of the barrel piss water and constantly burping all day.
I dread summer time though… because on top of what all I have told you already, when it’s hot he walks around with only these ratty old gym shorts (ones that look like he’s had since he was 15) and NO SHIRT. This guy has a beer belly that looks like an oversized, water-filled punching balloon and you can see the belly button poking out like it’s about to explode. He’ll sit around and rub the top of it like it is his pet or something. I bet you could set a couple of beers on it. I made the mistake of going over to their house when I was tripping on a bit of acid and he had his shirt off… oh the horror!
This guy smokes all the time also… as if he wasn’t repulsive enough. When I used to live there I remember hearing him in the shower during first thing in the morning while he was coughing up a lung for half an hour. That was years ago… I can only imagine (well I don’t want to really) what crap he is blowing out of the bottom of his black, atrophied lungs out onto to shower wall, all over the shower curtain and around the drain. It’s probably some black, fleshy mucus like puss-smelly chunks. He probably picks them up and squeezes them flat like cheddar cheese with his forefinger and thumb after he is done licking and smelling it and then laughing about it.
I just corrected an adult co-worker on this. Shall I mention first that we work in telephone sales???? Yes, a mouth full of apple on the phone!! GROSS! I asked her, “could you chew a little louder?” She said, “Maybe you have good ears. I am just eating the apple.” I told her, “I know, everyone can hear it!”
This experience is what led me to find this site – thank you for giving me a place to vent. I may retain my sense now.
Some of the earliest memories I have are of feeling overwhelming and debilitating rage at the sounds of chewing and eating. This is hard to even type without becoming absolutely enraged. My parents of course never understood. In fact no one I’ve met in person (that I know of) understands. The greatest mistake I’ve ever made was letting people know about it. One time, back in high school, a friend did it just to piss me off at a party. I almost lost it, and did storm out. I’m pretty sure I threw a shoe. It’s probably one of those things they still talk about when I’m not around.
In the past it’s enraged me so much I’ve hurt myself (punching myself in the head and ears until all I could feel was pain). I haven’t snapped that badly in a long time, and I believe it’s mostly because I now avoid situations where it’s that bad. When I have to be there, I do everything I can to get away from it, or to block my ears. I’m sure it’s conspicuous, but I don’t care. I will never tell someone to stop, because if they’re doing it, there is absolutely no way they’ll ever understand, and indeed may use it against me.
It bothers me so much that I even get mad when someone calls it a “pet peeve” or some other bullshit name, because that phrase sounds too innocent. It’s a psychological disorder at best. If I could have just a single wish in my whole entire life, I would instantly and unequivocally choose to not suffer from this. If this sounds insane to you, or if you think I’m joking, then you will never understand. Some things annoy me. Loud belching annoys me. Snoring annoys me. Mouth sounds are entirely different. They fill me with white hot rage that takes a huge measure of self control to not act on.
Of course this leads to certain problems in life. I can never own a dog, ever. Even cats would be pushing it. I have twice agreed to watching my friend’s dog while he traveled. I should have said no. Words cannot describe how enraged I get at it. I will give it food and water, but I can’t be near it. If I just sat there and listened to it, I would probably snap.
Why would I agree to watch the dog? For one, I have a really hard time saying no to helping out friends. For another, I could never tell them the reason why I didn’t want to help them.
My condition is so bad that I question whether I could ever have kids. The fear of passing it on genetically has given me serious pause when thinking about whether I could have kids of my own. I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone. When I was younger, if the noises had caused me to almost lose it, I would sometimes consider killing myself just to not have to have to feel that way ever again. Luckily I haven’t felt that way in many years.
I haven’t been able to find any name for such a condition, but forums like this one have finally made me realize I’m not alone. I’ve read someone talk about some kind of behavioral conditioning treatment, but I’ve extremely skeptical of that. Can behavioral conditioning treat cancer? That’s how much a part of me this feels.
I considered taking a moment to describe my thoughts of what I would do to someone or something that was making such noises. I decided not to go into too much detail. Basically it involves smashing in the mouth area with a blunt object or bare hands and not stopping. It’s odd that when I’m in the situation where I hear it, the thought helps calm me down, and when I’m not in the situation it makes me start to feel the rage.
I believe that as I’ve grown older I have subconsciously found ways to help me deal with the problem. The problem itself is just as bad as ever; it is absolutely, without question the worst thing I can be forced to endure. What has changed with time, I believe, is my ability to return to my previous emotional state once the noise has stopped. It requires a great deal of self control, but if I’m in a decent mood before the noise begins, I can usually force myself to forget about it once the noise has stopped. I have to be very careful not to dwell on it in even the slightest capacity, or I can be pulled into a mood of rage, followed by despair.
I know this has been a very long, poorly structured post. I felt the need to share this, so that hopefully others will be able to understand from my writing what I could never convey in person. Thanks for reading, and please post any medical treatments you may know of. I would happily take medication to be freed from this condition.
thank you for this site – one of the few places confirming I am not asking too much of my family! I am certain they chew their food with mouths wide open just to annoy me. It is pretty sad b/c it is the only thing that really makes me uncomfortable and irritated…. I am a nurse – believe me, there are many things that could do it and yet, this is the one! again, thank you…
stef
oh and i forgot to ask – is there a dating site – sort of like an EHarmony site for people who just want to date people with basic – and I mean very basic manners? I know I am not the first one to think this….. trust me, none of my dates – some of whom turned into lovers – NEVER started out this way….. how do we find those closet SMACKERS before it’s tooooo late? sorry – I sort of had a funny thought about this – forgive me….
stef
I agree completely! I wonder what’s so hard about keeping one’s mouth shut while eating….
This has got to be the funniest site I’ve come across in a long time. Thank G-d, I’m not the only one who can’t stand these d-mn mouth breathers who insist on smacking their gobs whilst its full of the stuff. I only just found this site in hopes of finding relief from the loser who’s sitting across from me at Starbucks open-mouthing his yogurt parfait. Ever seen a dog with peanut butter stuck in the roof if its mouth? The loser could probably give the dog lessons in lip smacking.
I agree completely, this is one of the most repulsive habits I’ve ever seen — with the possible exception of a late relative who used to bite his toenails in the living room. At least HE was quiet about it!
Unfortunately, I’ve recently gotten engaged to someone who chews with her mouth open, as well as her two kids (ages 10 and 18). I’ve been gritting my teeth so much that my TMJ has flared up again.
When I’ve mentioned it, she acts astonished and baffled, and gives me the “are you insane” look, closely followed by the “when did you turn into an anal retentive” look.
Having lived with it for so long, all three are apparently immune (and oblivious) to the noise and the sights.
I figure it’s too late for her and the 18-year old, but I have hopes that the 10-year old can be saved from a lifetime of grossing out his dining companions. But it’s tough when Mom and his older brother are champing and slobbering over their food on either side of him.
Any suggestions for curbing this nauseating habit in the adults? I’ve been thinking about the shock collars people use to train dogs… think that might work?
Oh, how happy I am to have found that other people share my neurotic revulsion at listening to others chew! I thought I was the only one. And I completely understand that feeling of rage: I want to tear people’s tongues out and wrap them around their heads when I have to listen to them smack.
I, too, have gotten better at hiding and stifling my reactions as I get older, but it takes a whole lot of willpower to keep from screaming at the offender.
Thank you, all, for sharing!
I love that this thread exists! I’m glad I’m not the only person slowly dying inside while having to put up with listening to a cow eating next to me.
I started dating a guy just over 2 months ago. Everything was going swimmingly and we had eaten out together on several occasions with no problems. He was obviously on his best behaviour to start off with because now he has let his guard down and has gone back to his old country ways of chewing with his mouth open. He also hunches over his food and breathes heavily. I just don’t get it. He has devolved before my very eyes.
It makes me want to scream and hit him in the head with a hammer. I had hoped this relationship was going to go somewhere but now I have my doubts that I could handle the food noises. It is so bad that I would prefer not to eat with him at all. I hate getting indian/mexican food because of the pappadums/corn chips.
There should be some sort of public education program for people like him. There should be mobile food police officers giving on the spot fines for chewing with your mouth open. I like John’s idea of shock collars. It might be worth looking into. It is absolutely vile and it is a very inefficient way to eat.
I think I will just have to tell him straight out or I will have to leave him.
We shouldn’t have to put up with this. It is not us that have the problem. It is the cow eaters. We walk upright, live in houses and have opposable thumbs, therefore, we chew with our mouths closed. Simple.
I’m so glad I’m not the only person who gets wound-up by this.
I’m lucky enough to have it in full blown cinematic Dolby surround. I have a coworker opposite me who eats constantly and I get to see it/hear it all going round. He only stops to pick his nose.
To my right, and just in my line of sight I have a coworker who is incapable of breathing through his nose and therefore grunts/whistles constantly, and who also insists on chewing gum with his gob wide open.
My lunch has reappeared several times in the last week as it makes me feel that nauseous, what do I do?!
It’s wonderful that I’m not the only person that sees this as nerve-wracking as Chinese water torture. Seriously, there should be support groups for people who deal with this. My coworker eats at her desk most of the day. I can handle chewing, but that lip-smacking sound makes me want to throw myself out the window. I leave the room every time she smacks and slurps. Sometimes I just sit and stare at her with a disgusted look on my face. Since I’m a wuss I haven’t said anything yet, but I plan on using on of the tactics I read about on here the next time she eats. So thank you for saving her life and mine, because I don’t want to go to jail…
This is SUCH a pet peeve of mine!! My husband not only chews with his mouth open, but slurps horribly. No, not soup…pizza cheese. He bites halfway into the slice, pulls it about a foot away from his face, then loudly slurps the cheese into his mouth. IT”S GROSS. Needless to say, we don’t have pizza often. He also tends to not wait for his food to cool, so in goes the scalding hot whatever followed by inhaling/slurping sound to cool it. I refuse to be in the same room when he eats now. My daughter is almost as bad, but at least she’s working on it somewhat. Oh, and hubby actually used his manners when we were dating and didn’t slurp, smack, or chew with his mouth open until several years into our marriage.
Wel none of you are going to like this, but it will help. Whenever the offending person starts their meal with a view for you, pull out your food and get ready. When they start, you start. Eat as messily as you can, mouth wide open, talk and let food fly out of your mouth, on them if you can, and on their food. Laugh about it, get close to them and keep eating loudly. When you are done. Put away your things neatly. Turn to look at them and ask them how they liked your meal. Did they like how you never kept your mouth closed, how they saw your food in your mouth, how it was loud and rude and disgusting? Then ask them if they knew that they chewed with their mouth open all the time and that it bothers you.
Bless you sir! I was laughing my *** off reading these posts and my SO, (who really is trying to stop but is as of yet pretty unsuccessful…), asked me what I was reading and at first I answered that he probably wouldn’t be as amused as I was with it but after a few minutes of laughing I finally told him. I don’t normally nag on one certain thing more than a couple of times because after the first few I feel like a **** so he asked if he was still doing it and I said yeah… Now he is beating himself up about it which makes me feel guilty and so I likely won’t bring it up again. sigh…. I do love him. I should be able to overlook this little thing, right? But it does make me mad and ruins my appetite and grosses me out. He says that nobody has ever told him he smacks his food. I remember my mom telling me and my brother to stop when we were kids. Until I met him I didn’t realize adults did that… I think it is really the parents fault. I find nose picking to be on about the same level. Anyhow, like everyone else I am relieved to find others that share my hatred of food smacking. Thanks for the hilarious read :)
As I have sat here all day listening to my co-worker, who sits 5 feet away from me outside my office door (can’t close it, it’s a shared office and my office-mate is the “constantly hot” person at the office, and if I closed the door shed likely suffocate), make that tongue-against-the-roof-of-the-mouth-suction noise R E P E A T E D L Y for the last 5 hours I have been searching the net looking for a subtle way to tell her she sounds like a disgusting animal. She does this ALL THE TIME, not just when she’s eating… but when she IS eating (and she is also the constant snacker) it is amplified to the maximum. All day, all day, all day that smacking noise every 10-20 seconds. I just don’t get it and it is driving me nuts. I grew up in a family where we’d have been smacked upside the head if we made noises while eating or chewing gum and I always thought I was hypersensitive to it because of that so I’m glad I’m not nuts. But what can I do about this chick aside from sewing her mouth shut or requesting she have her tongue surgically removed?
Oh I reallyyyy hate it when people chew with their mouth open!!! I particularly hate the sound of it! I have a colleague who would chew with her mouth open every time we have lunch. After tolerating this behaviour for 3 years, I finally said to her in jokingly, “yo gal, close your mouth when you eat”. She got SOOOO defensive and claimed that she didn’t do such a thing!
This is the moment when “silence is the best answer”.
Ohh come on…. I can’t be imagining those sound and sight, they are so disgusting! Now I know that she’s not only freakin’ annoying but also can’t take criticism, I’ve stopped having lunch with her.
Yuck!!!!!
I cant believe it. I lunch with some one nearly every day that chews with their mouth open. No matter what it is, there is the smacking, clucking sound and a disgusting visual (if you happen to look over that way) of food partially chewed inbetween the smacking sound. Often times they also attempt to put additional food in while they are still smacking and slurping on the bite they just took. How do you comment on that. I have come close to saying something many times, but just didnt know what to day other than can youplease close you mouth? How disgustingly gross.
So glad Im not alone in peeve of loud, nasty, open chewing. Sad thing is this: my spouse was a well mannered eater before we married. But now, seven years later, his open mouthed, sloshy, loud, nasty eating drives me insane. I HAVE to leave the room when he eats. It is so disgusting. I have mentioned this to him numerous times, but he just says: “Im eating”. HA! I think he does is just so I will leave the room. I do wonder though: how in the h@*! he can hear the tv when he is eating?! No wonder he turns it up.
I happen to know someone who chews with their mouth shut, but you can still hear the chewing sounds. Agreed, that its annoying, but could there be a medical reason for this – maybe excessive saliva generation, jaw structure, etc? I’ve spoken to them about it but they just don’t know what they could do different to stop the noises.
Any constructive thoughts? Thanks!
Morticia…..do we work with the same person? Oh my goodness. I don’t know how people can do it. It drive’s me nuts every single work day, to sit across from someone who sounds like a cow constantly chewing and snacking….oh the sunflower seeds must be the worst….she eats them one by one, and they are even already shelled… each little seed, you wouldnt think these little seeds could possibly make such noise…but some how, she does it! This is not the kind of person who take’s a hint either, she is oblivious to her own grossness. ewwww. We need reform for these inconsiderate cow chewers.
Ugh. This can bring me close to tears under the right circumstances. If I’m trapped, it’s everything I can do to not go mental on the person doing it. My desk-mate is an open-mouth chewer and food smacker. We’ve even had discussions about the nastiness of it and her reply was “people these days just aren’t aware of their surroundings.” Reeeealllly???!! I now leave whenever she begins eating – even if she’s in the middle of talking to me or asking me to do something, I get up and leave without a word. For most of her meals, I need only be gone for about 5 minutes. If it’s a salad, I need to find something to keep me away for a good 30 minutes, because she takes forever to eat it, making wet chewy smacking noises the whole time (made worse by the the almost cup of ranch dressing she puts on it). Kill me.
I totally go nuts when people do this. Last night, while out to dinner, I told my son’s girlfriend (our third meeting) ” I’m just bold. I’m sorry that I have to tell you that chewing with food in your mouth is my greatest pet peeve. I can’t help it, it just is.” I really like this gal and they have been going together for quite some time,i.e. I DON’T want a DIL of mine to be chewing with her mouth open!!!!! That’s that. (I may have to tell her again….I I need to …I WILL!)
I have TWO room-mates who hit what I call “the big four”: chomping the food, smacking the lips, sucking the fingers, and the breathing finish. I’m very glad my family taught me manners very early in life, and even then, for some reason, it’s very easy to slip back into those eating habits. I make it a point to be aware of how loud I am when I eat, as it seems I’m the only one in my apartment aware of this. It’s a VILE habit, above picking your nose and eating it. I can’t help but think that those who eat with their mouths open were raised by pigs.
Joe, I know what you\’re talking about. My mom could ALWAYS hear me chewing, and she wouldn\’t stop STARING at me when I did. That was most of the reason I have good table manners, at least as far as not being loud with my food. It drives me f***ing nuts when people eat like hogs!
People who chew with their mouths open disgust me. It doesn’t matter if you’re eating sushi or steak, chewing gum or munching popcorn – there’s no acceptable reason to chew with your mouth open. I also cannot stand when people make noises while licking lollipops. The sounds always remind me of a mix between a dog licking its ***, and the sounds of someone giving someone else a sloppy blow-job (I apologize for that, but it’s true). I don’t need to hear all that. And I make no exceptions either, not for anyone.
My stepfather, half-sister (his and my mom’s daughter), and his entire family all chew with their mouths open, etc. I despise them because of this. We’re not cows, pigs or dogs – there’s no reason for all of that. It’s even worse because on my mother’s side of the family, we were specifically taught NOT to do this at a young age. Our grandmother would swat us at the dinner table if we didn’t “eat like we had some common sense”. It confuses me why my mother doesn’t teach my sister this, when she herself (as do the rest of us who grew up with my grandmother) has near-perfect table manners.
I also have a thing with people eating in general, but this I try my hardest not to complain about, because.. I’m not sure if it’s normal or not. I cannot stand the SOUNDS people make when they eat, even the well-mannered people who eat with their mouth closed. That wet, slosh-y sound of food being swished around inside other people’s mouths is enough to make me vomit, and this is why I eat alone. I’m find in the middle of a cafeteria, because the sounds of people talking usually drown out the individual sounds of people eating, but I can’t eat at a small table with just one other person because I’ll HEAR them eating and.. ugh.
But yes, I don’t know why these neanderthals can’t just chew with their **** mouths shut. It’s really not that hard at all. /rant
The sound of chewing has always gotten right up my nose. My mom, whom I like quite a lot otherwise and who has impeccable manners, must have read somewhere that you should chew your food 100 times. She just sits there and chews and chews and chews. And chews. The funny thing is that she takes tiny bites so I think it’s probably all digested by the time she actually swallows! She does, at least, chew with her mouth closed. But it’s still really noisy. Uck.
My beloved, for some reason, has started chewing with his mouth open. We’ve been together for almost three years and this only started a couple of weeks ago. I have no idea where this came from. He’s especially bad about it when he’s eating chips and other crunchy foods. It’s almost to the point that I have to leave the room.
He doesn’t normally have bad manners, table or otherwise. He doesn’t belch or scratch himself in public and he opens the door for me. He also doesn’t chew with his mouth open at restaurants. All signs of a polite, well-brought up person.
For the life of me, I cannot understand why this has just started. He’s pretty great otherwise – kind and generous, thoughtful and hardworking. If this is his worst fault, then I’m not sure I can bring myself to complain about something that, in the great scheme of things, is pretty minor. And I’m sure I have annoying habits of my own.
It’s just so frustrating to me that all of us here have to be put in such an uncomfortable position. We shouldn’t have to ask people to have basic good manners. I mean it’s one thing to do what you want in the privacy of your own home – but in the company of other people? And at work where a person should be professional? I can’t imagine behaving like that. And I resent being the “bad guy”. And why on earth are people so proud of bad manners?
AND how does the food not fall out? I tried eating with my mouth open once (at home, alone, I must add) just to see. I totally couldn’t do it! Of course, this might explain all the “food on chin” comments I read here, too.
Thank you to whomever started this site. I feel a little better already. (Of course, he finished the darn chips so maybe that’s why…)
MARRIAGE IS BREAKING, please help!!
I feel so inappropriate and guilty to even write about this… My wife and I were married for several years, she is a very beautiful girl, and she is a true love of my life. I am a guy, and I am supposed to make our meals together romantic and enjoyable for both of us. But she has this habit to chew not quite closing her lips and talk just after taking a bite. This drives me nuts inside, and I can’t make things romantic. Just trying to deal with it inside and distract myself somehow. But my wife is suffering from my behaviour, because it is her life dream to have romantic dinners, talks, discusions etc. I’d love this too, but the moment she starts talking while having food in her mouth ruins everything. I know I shouldn’t even pay attention to such small things, because I am just a regular, uninteresting guy and a husband, and she is a very sweet very beautiful girl. But this really ruins our life and marriage. Couple of times (in several years) I tried to tell her what my problem is, very delicately I think, and thought it’s so simple just to make a small change and things would become great in our life. But she felt very deeply *insulted*, refused to change anything in herself, and felt that a normal man should be ashamed to ask a lady something like this. To even notice this. Now, her dreams of romantic relationship, enjoyable dinners filled with discussions are all gone. After years of marriage to me, she feels absolutely broken inside and says she developed a complex about her eating in public because of me. It’s either I do something to my percaption of this issue, or we’d have to get a divorce. It’s so silly. Such a tiny thing is able to ruin a marriage. I know she won’t change anything, I have to make a change in myself. Is there a therapy for this? Please advice.
I hate the sound of people chewing with their mouths open. My mother actually told me I needed psychiatric help because of how much it annoys and angers me. As a result of my first snapping at my family to chew with their mouth’s closed, then asking kindly after repeated family discussions, I am no longer allowed (at the age of 22 years old) to ask someone in my household to kindly chew with their mouth closed. They literally think I have a clinical problem because of how much the sound annoys me.
Me again. I finally broke up with my boyfriend. It wasn’t totally due to the open-mouthed chewing but for christ’s sakes it didn’t help! The funny (horrible) thing is that my step-dad chews with his mouth open too! How the **** do you smack ice cream? I end up leaving the room. lol oh well. Only 7 more months :) Good luck all!!
My brother (20) was just downstairs eating Chinese food. My god, I can not tell you how many times I have had to leave the room due to this terrible effing habit. Then he started crunching on a fortune cookie DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FORTUNE COOKIE. I honestly dont get what is so hard about closing the MF’ing trap.
I also hate how it’s always ‘my problem’ that I cant stand the noises……….
UGH!! I sit about 5 feet from a guy at work who faces me with no wall in between and he eats like a cowall day. Gum, cereal(which he slurps out of the bowl) and anything else he can get his mouth on. Plus, he takes a bite big enough for about 4-5 people and chews it 30+ times. I cannot stand it, I want to bang my head into the wall. I cannot use headphones at work since I have to answer the phone. I tried using only one ear, but his chewing is so loud, that won’t even drown it out. We are a small group, only 4 of us here and since we are so close together, I cannot play a radio either. You would think this guy is 5 years old the way he eats, but he is 35!! Plus, he is married. I do not know how his wife has not beaten it out of him yet unless she is a cow too!! I have been looking for a new job it is so bad!!!
i’m dying inside. everybody around me chews with their mouths open…and it’s not just a 10-15 minute sit down, it’s over the course of an hour or so. they’ll take a few bites, talk, turn around and work on the comp, smack their food, wipe their hands and answer the phone with food in their mouth, then turn around and do it all over again. if you think that’s bad…hold onto your hat. lunch is with a korean, a cambodian, and a couple of mexicans. i have to smell fish, squid, kimchi, and whatever greasy food the mexicans are eating these days. oh, and the lunch table is 2 feet behind my chair. there is no ventilation in this room, and any unfinished food goes into the trash can with no lid that is 5 feet from my desk. if you want to talk about a stress test that’s out of control, i got a story that could top those of a vietnam vet’s.
AHHH. I work in a school and we have recently aquired a student teacher who is very nice but has a horrible problem with chewing with his mouth open. It is not normal. It is not just talking and eating but his toung actually comes out of his mouth while he is chewing! I do not know if he needs to do this to keep the food moving around his mouth or if he has some sort of a problem but I can tell I am not the only person who can not stand this because the only empty seats at the luch table are the ones next to him! I hate getting to lunch last! Its a small table and he is so hard to avoid. There is nothing I can do to stop it. It takes all my attention not to glare at him!