Food in Mouth Problems, i.e. Chewing With Your Mouth Open
Nov 15th, 2006 by What's Gotta Go
Today I thought I would pick an easy but much needed topic to discuss. Yes, chewing with your mouth open. If you read these first few sentences and find yourself perplexed that this could be a viable topic, then I am likely speaking directly to you.
Food is good. I love food, and recently my weight shows that fact a bit. I’m working on that, or least planning to :) There are really not that many foods I don’t like in fact. I enjoy the smells, flavors, satisfaction of being full. The only thing I really don’t like about food is seeing it in your mouth or hearing the process of it being chewed (mastication for all you over-educated types). There is not much in this world that bugs me more than this. If you want to drive me out of a room, I have just clued you in to a very simple way it can be done.
I have kids, four of them in fact, therefore this is an annoyance I deal with on a daily basis. I know my kids think of me as the grumpy old guy that is constantly reminding them to close their mouth when they chew, not to talk with their mouth full, etc. They need to establish the good habits now, not only for my sanity by that of all the other well mannered people of the world. Yet, with kids I have much more patience for it; hey, their kids. They are learning and they do try, their attention span just isn’t developed well enough to allow them to realize that what I just told them still applies 30 seconds later. They will get it eventually, if they live that long….
You all know exactly what I am talking about, admit it. Ever had a group of friends over for a meal, and there is that one guy (yes, usually a guy) that thinks the best time to talk is right after having taken a bite? Usually this person is annoying on many levels, including feeling the need to comment on every point made by someone else. This incessant need to continually be a part of the conversation prevents them from fully enjoying a single bit of food without displaying it for the rest of us to observe. Does he want us to see that he is eat the food, or does he really not want our eye contact when he is talking, because that is what ends up happening. We all try to look at each other, our plates, anywhere other than in his direction while bits of food splatter the plate, tablecloth and serving dishes around him. I try to take note of what was in his vicinity and avoid any seconds of that food item. Ever seen someone ask that a dish of food be passed their direction only for them to place it by them and not take any? There’s a reason…think hard, you’ll get it.
What really gets me is adults that haven’t picked up this simple ability to keep those lips together once you have put something in it. I don’t care if it is a meal at a table, snack in the office, gum in the car or nachos at the game. I am sure that food is great, I just don’t want to see or hear it in the process! You’re an adult, you’ve had a long time to pick up the skill. I think the worst part is my inability to say anything corrective to an adult on such a simple thing. Yes, my wife knows this drives me nuts, I can tell her anything of course. She is actually very good at the closed mouth thing, but I can’t even stand hearing a juicy apple chewed up right next to me when I am watching a show – this she does without thinking but gets the message when I pause the show until she is done with her apple :)
If you have any inclination to think I am wrong on this topic, and I’m not, just do a quick search on the web about “chewing with your mouth open.” Before I write most posts on this site I like to do a quick Google search to see what other people think. There is no shortage of comments. This “rate-it” site is just one example.
Back to adults though. Why can’t I say anything, because then I am the annoying guy that barks at people about stupid little things, like I’m perfect and don’t have annoying habits. Not going to be that guy. So, instead, I just fume, and try usually unsuccessfully to not notice it. Ever tried to do that, not notice things that bug you now that you have noticed it? Doesn’t happen. So what can I do? I think I am doing it now – try to raise my kids up right write about it here so that hopefully, maybe just a few people in the world will take note and shut their mouths, at least when there is food in it.
I can vouch for Jeremy’s difficulties with this, even when you chew with your mouth closed, you can be too loud for him. Growing up he would *scream* because he sat next to me, all because I chewed too loud.
And back then I thought he was just trying to give me a complex.
Wearing food. I love the people who cannot seem to get food just in their mouth. You know, that little bit of pizza sauce on their chin.
The normal response to someone of this sort would be…. “Are you saving that for later?” I have another idea. Instead of bringing it to their attention allowing them to save face and wipe it off, try allowing them to wear it for a while enjoying the rest of the night on the town. As people give them weird looks, stand behind your friend signaling the on-lookers with the old “He has had too much to drink” gestures.
It is really fun.
It grosses me out when people chew with their mouths open. It even grosses me out when little kids have food all over their faces. But that is a rant in and of itself! YUCK!
Neil….I must say that I totally guilty of wearing my food. Not on my face (wouldn’t someone FEEL if there was a dribble on their chin?) but on my shirt, and if I am wearing white it is destined to happen. No matter how careful I am it always seems to drip on my shirt. My husband teases me relentlessly about it. If I even put a white shirt on, he says that something will eventually drip on my shirt. And he is usually right! Argh!
That is the funny thing. You would think someone could feel sauce or dribble on their chin. Maybe they are so caught up in the moment of eating that delightful bbq chicken that they put off wiping their face. Then by the end of the meal they have forgotten it is there. LOL.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not hatin’ I love it. I have a family member that is guilty of this and usually, halfway through a meal, we have side bets running on how long it will take for him to realize that he forgot to wipe his chin. Hey, it keeps the night interesting. What fun huh?
Have to totally agree with you on this one Jeremy, the sound of someone eating really makes me shiver inside and of course if they are eating with their mouths open, even just for a few seconds, then the noise is far worse EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! Same as you as well in that I must seem like a real pain to my kids who I have constantly gone on at them abut it – I have to say, my grown daughter (18) never eats with her mouth open, so the nagging worked.
Neil, I like your idea of not letting on when someone has foodstuff on their face, very good, have to try that sometime.
I believe it is all caused by a genetic mutation that causes modern day humans to eat like we still live in the trees (and I wouldn’t be surprised it NOVA has a show on it soon) or I blame it on the Fast Food industry! You know all you lip smackers, finger lickers, slurppers, burpers and cud chewers…how can anyone expect genteel table manners when the current generation was raised in Fast Food restaurants? It’s not dining with the Queen eating meals served out of cardboard boxes by a guy in a clown suit…come on people! I don’t see linen napkins and the good china serving up a meal called The Whopper. The good manners that our Father Knows Best parents instilled in us during the 50’s early 60’s (showing my age here) has been slowly pushed aside in the rush rush of today’s world. Good manners take time and thought…and…effort…need I say more?
Ali…amen sista! Manners have gone the way of courtesy, respect and kick the can!
I have to admit this bugs the crap outta me! My father chewed with his mouth open…still does…& my 19 year old son does. Ive tried every meal time for the last 19 years to get him to CLOSE HIS MOUTH when chewing but he just doesn’t get it. He knows it grates on me…it’s like dragging nails down a chalk board…it gives me the willies & I have to leave the room often. Course the family laughs at my dilemma..but am I really asking too much??????
Caroline – that is even worse if they are doing it knowingly! I don’t think I’d last but a few meals before knocking someone upside the head. At least with my kids they TRY to fix the problem – not do it intentionally and laugh about it. Ugh.
My boyfriend chews with his mouth up and it drives me bonkers. And its a habit that we’ve been trying to break for ever. Any suggestions? LOL
Just told a coworker to not eat in my workspace. I have to leave the room when her or my boss take out something to eat. She did that the other day-took out her cheerios. I left the room in midsentence before she got a chance to start. Then she followed my to my work area. I told her I had to leave the room whenever she or my boss were eating. As she stood there staring at me with this dumb look and slurping up her cheerios, I told her really. This is my space. If you insist on making all that noise to eat, go back to your own space.
I did not feel the need to be any more polite about it than that.
Judging by all the other noises that started coming out of her office, I’d say she’s pretty pissed.
Oh well. My boss is getting told next.
Mike, you are my hero. I can think of no better way to hand it then that. Mouth noises are unacceptable, particularly the wet banana noise. A woman in the cubicle next to me makes wet mouth noises when she eats. She also whistles verrrry softly in a breathy way all day long. Would like to punch her in the *** cheeks, but instead have purchased a decent pair of headphones and block the sound out with music.
Jeremy, there must be some way we can raise awareness about this horribly disgusting habit that, unfortunately, a lot of people have acquired. I know I freak out at people who chew near me–it’s gotten to the point where I just don’t eat around other people.
Eric, it’s close to impossible, I’ve found, for the person making the noise to– 1) realize they are doing it, and 2) correct the behavior.
One example: After years of staring in horror at my friend while she ate, I finally worked up the courage to say, “You know, you chew with your mouth open.” And she looked at me IN MID BITE, of course, and said: “Yeah, I know,” and went back to eating.
How do you do it? How do you tell someone to stop? I share an office with someone and he chews his food in full volume while smacking his lips? What can I say and still maintain a cordial relationship with him?
I am so thankful that I am not crazy or super anal about this. My co-worker, a professional adult woman, does not know how to chew with her mouth closed. The lip smacking, the slurping, the chew sounds, I go mad! worst part is, I am usually doing my paperwork on the computer while she is behind me eating her lunch. I am too much of a weakling to say anything. I practice saying something to her in the car, I think about it at home before work. I am going crazy and she has no idea. I guess every time it happens I am still so shocked that she has no idea that she has horrible manners that I am too dumbfounded to act!
what can we do that is tactful and respectful but at the same time helps meet our needs as ‘mannered’???
Hey and Sarah,
Honestly I really have never been able to come up with a good way to address the situation other than head on. You can of course use tact and perhaps a little humor to lighten the mood about it, but otherwise you have to be pretty direct on the topic for people to realize that you actually *are* asking them to stop.
Rather than making a big deal out of it, though, I would simply mention it to them the next time it comes up. Perhaps start with a little humor like “wow, that lunch really sounds good.” They may smile or be a little surprised, depending on the person. Then I would just mention it with a smile saying “you know I may be really sensitive to it, but the sound of people eating just kills me.” Would you mind eating in the break room or at leat keeping the food sounds down?” At that point it is up to them to be offended or laugh about it with you.
Steer clear of letting them know their manners suck…that tends to put them on the defense for some reason :)
Please help!!! My best friend’s boyfriend is the nastiest eater I have EVER seen or HEARD!! I cannot take it anymore. I don’t have the heart to say anything to the boyfriend because it would hurt his feelings. My friend is the type to tell me to suck it up and deal with it. Occasionally this guy has even snorted while eating with his mouth open. He slurps his wine, then smacks his lips and then belches and don’t EVEN put a plate of crab legs in front of him, or caramels, or nuts or a marshmallow for that matter!!!!! Is this an attempt to get attention? I need to know wWHY someone eats like this and I need to know if I am to just suck it up and deal with it or tell him or just avoid them all together and hope my friend dumps him??!! I seriously CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE!
I live with my boyfriend and a good mutual friend of ours. My friend and I work together, and ALWAYS end up venting (veins bulging from our necks) about the previous nights meal. Although the blame being put on the fast food industry is probably very true in some cases, we have resolved that it is ultimately his MOTHERS FAULT! After close investigations, we found that she, too, eats like a horse. It’s like they would rather eat than breathe. Instead of taking his or her time eating, they insist on eating and (loudly) breathing simultaniously.
Another aspect of bad table manners relates to “that guy” who likes having platters, bags of chips, and (always) shared meals in VERY close proximity to him. Here’s our take on it: getting his “fare share” is his first priority. If anyone else, heaven forbid, gets even one more french fry than him, he feels that he got screwed. There is a dicotomy within this issue. Oh, yes. Speed eating. Who ever eats the fastest gets the most.
Last, but NOT least, the ultimate “nails on a chalk board”— utincels. Spoons: If you know someone similar to the above description, you will surely know of this annoyance. Soups, chili, cereal, etc. This is what goes through the mind, “Oh, God. It’s so good. I MUST get every last bite. Every last morsel. Every last grain of pepper.” KLING KLING KLING KLING KLING KLING. KLING KLING. KLING. Hidious.
Fork & Knife: Most people learned at an early age to saw NOT draw. This particular cave man cuts any type of meat by piercing it with his fork (so far so good). Next he uses his knife, not as a slicing tool, but more like a tearing utencil. I dont even know how to explain it. What I do know is that it litterally does make a noise like nails on a chalk board. Only in the comfort of my own home. End of story. Im so pissed off.
I hear alot about kids needing to mind their manners about chewing with their lips closed. That’s nothing. I eat with my dad twice a day and listen on while he masticates his food, smacking loudly and displaying it for all to see. Then after, picking his teeth with ocassional sucking noises. It discusts me to no end. But alas, mentioning it wouldn’t help, ( I have) he’s been doing it all his life, so doubt if he’ll change now, unlike a child that can be taught. Perhaps, I should don earplugs at meal time.
I agree 100% that this may be the most annoying popular habit (lack of manners). I have a co-worker who smacks open mouthed all day which drives me insane. To me it’s like nails on a chalkboard. If you haven’t yet seen the website gumblasters.com it’s worth a look. While I don’t think abolishing gum or food is the answer there are obviously many people who feel the same regarding the lack of manners. People, it’s easy, close your mouth when chewing. Thank you Mike for bringing this up.
This is one of the most disgusting habits that I can think of. Right up there with throwing cigarette butts on the ground!
God. My mother has recently (last 18 months) developed the habit if chewing with her mouth open. I can’t stand it. I have told her she sounds like a dog liking its ***, and she says that if other people don’t like it, they can leave. I can actually hear her chewing across the room. She spits food when she talks now, and she is seeing nothing wrong with this. In addition, my father has now fallen into the habit. It has gotten so bad that I purposely don’t invite her to things any more, because I can’t stand her, especially since shes always chewing gum.
I has gotten me so mad in the past, because she chewed loud, with her mouth open, on purpose, that I actually had to go into the bathroom just to avoid smacking her across her face. I cracked my middle knuckle punching the wall.
Oh yes this is TERRIBLE. I couldn’t stand to sit close to my mother growing up because of her DISGUSTING chewing noises- and if someone does it with their mouth open, I leave the table. It has to be the fact that so few people ever tell them how nasty they are, coupled with our culture’s ‘I don’t give a **** about anyone else’s comfort and this is somehow empowering and admirable,’ that has created this phenomenon.
So funny. In fact, my SO got into a HUGE argument over this habit just last night. People who chew with their mouth open should be dragged into a dentist office, mouths wired shut and given liquid diets until they can learn some friggin’ manners. Needless to say, my SO says he should be able to eat any way he **** well pleases in his own **** house and I should stop telling him to stop. I guess it’s a “my problem” thing and I will leave the table and leave him there to look like the cow he portrays. Thanks for posting this.
At work I sit opposite a guy who does this every day. And he eats a lot. Noisily. And he burps. I’ve heard the phrase ‘eats like a pig’ before, but didn’t really know what it meant until now. I have to literally duck my head behind my monitor when he’s having his lunch so I don’t have to watch, but I can still hear the slurps and grunts and snorts and burps…. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhh
Why does my co-worker eat ALL DAY LONG? I’m going to walk over to him, grab his food, and throw it against the wall. Nuff said.
I hate this. I’ve resorted to anonymously forwarding articles to my friend(s) about the problem. It’s sooooo disgutsting! And the worst part is, people get all bent out of shape because you point it out! Just as bad, is when they deny doing it in the first place, and even argue with you that they are not doing it. You have to resort to video taping them to prove it! Yeah, it’s that bad. They act all childish about it, and make it out like you are saying THEY are disgusting pigs, not just the action they’re doing. They make out to be a deeply personal attack!
My sister just doesn’t even care, and will make up every excuse about how she cant’ help it or just doesn’t care, and will even do it on purpose just to annoy me!
One of the worst ever of bad table manners!
i went out with a guy for 4 months until i noticed his eating..he took me to rome, which should have been amazing…but every morning i had to endure the eating habbits of a pig! buffet breki, everything on 1 plate, and i mean everything, it was put into the mouth, chomped with mouth open, slurping away, head continuously moving around, coffee swilled down mid chew to force it down…it was so awful, i tried to say a guy behind him was grossing me out with his mouth open eating, he laughed and carried on! it got to the point where i told him and reminded him continuously, when it didnt stop, i would slap his chin up to close his mouth! i fifnished with him obviosuly..i now have a guy who sits on the same desk as me, opposite to me who is just as bad and i have to lower my chair when he eats and raise my screen, he hasnt noticed yet…i wanna sream at him though, how can i tell someone who i work with every day?????HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP
I absolutely, positively, undoubtedly have a deep deep desire to physically mangle my father. He smacks unbeleivably loud. It’s so loud in fact that you can hear him eating in the house even when your outside the house and 40 yards away with all the windows and doors shut. I’ve been tormented with this since childhood. Now, I trully believe that I have a mental disorder because of it. It enrages me so much that I haven’t spoken to him for over seven years. Every time I even THINK of him putting something in his mouth my blood boils. I’m legitimately worried that someday I’ll lose my sanity and end up hurting him. I’ve been trying to get him to stop for over 26 years. Very often I contemplate ways that I can make him stop doing it. The way I think of the most is breaking his jaw. I’d just love to shatter it into a million pieces. That way, when it heals it’ll be fragile and wrought with pain, hopefully so much so that he won’t be able to smack anymore.
Love this post, I found it via Google when I realized that I could no longer suppress the urge to self-mutilate after hearing a co-worker smack her gum for the past 6 hours. Goodbye cruel world, I’m going to go slam my f-ing head in the door.
oh my gosh. My mom does this whenever she eats and it makes me want to kill her. When I tell her about it I get yelled at. It’s common dinner table manners for corn’s saake!
I hate it when people suck on candy and try to talk at the same time.. it makes this horrible sloppy sloshy noise for each constinent, and it drives me INSANE.. I leave the room immediately because it makes my spine cringe like nails on the chalkboard.
A person I live with does this regularly, and I don’t know how to approach it. Others have, but the disgusting habit keeps rearing its ugly little head. Slosh smack thomp… “bla bla bla” Slosh smak thomp…. bla bla bla…
TIP: Keep hard candy, like jolly ranchers, or other types of candy yo “suck” on to enjoy, OUT OF YOUR MOUTH when you intend to say something…
PLEASE for the sanity of those around you< I BEG YOU TO STOP.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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I honestly thought I might be the ONLY person in the world that got so stressed out about other people’s eating habits! I’m glad to know I’m not…
I get it from all angles.
When at work, my co-worker who sits diaganol to me is relentless.
He eats ALL day long and chews everything with his mouth open. You can hear the crunching and worst of all, the saliva! GROSS!
I get sooo irritated and make irritated grunts to no avail.
It’s almost unbelievable that he doesn’t know how absolutely revolting it is.
Then at home. My husband is not an angel, but I can yell at him and he’ll stop. But my 16YO stepson is just as bad as my co-worker.
He SLURPS his food! I mean, even a cheeseburger! Oh, it’s bad…
I have to get up from the table and eat in the living room to avoid losing my appetite.
I don’t know if anyone can answer this, but why does it bother us so bad?
I grew up in a home where manners and good eating habits were strictly enforced. You weren’t allowed to get up from the table without saying, “May I please be excused?”.
I guess my biggest problem is my co-worker. I sit in my cubicle for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week and have to listen to this.
I’m tempted to say something, but don’t have the courage. I thought about mentioning it to his supervisor, but didn’t think that was a good idea either. Anyone have any suggestions here?? It’s a daily dilemma for me and would welcome any good suggestions!! :)
This is honestly my number one pet peeve. My sister chews with her mouth open with everything she eats. My friend does the same thing, and I told him that he doesn’t have table manners last night and this is what he tells me. “When you chew with your mouth open it lets the oxygen in and refreshes the taste.” At that point I just wanted to punch him in the face, but I just told him to believe what he wanted to and to please not do that around me. The thing I don’t understand is what makes a person feel like chewing with their mouth open is right? Espcially when they’re opening their mouth all the way just to take another chomp? I digress. I’m starting to become irritated just thinking about it.
I sympathise heartily with all you long suffering victims. I too hate noisy eaters. My latest theory is that some folk have extra large tongues and slush everything around between their teeth, an open mouth makes even worse listening. Some people even spend an hour or so after eating, picking their teeth and sucking their nails which to me is even more disgusting. I agree that you can never tell anyone to stop as you are instantly branded a control freak or weirdo. Another horror is listening to high frequency cutlery squeak. Gives me a headache for hours. As a result I recommend individual eating cubicles and should be made compulsory.
As I am typing this post, my co-worker (an associate dean) is sitting directly behind me eating his 5th snack of the day. Smack, slurp, smack, smack. Arrrrgh! He annoys me to begin with but his breathing and eating are amplified for some reason. I want to turn around and tell him to stop for the love of god! I have to leave the room while he’s eating. Thanks for listening… I am leaving the room!
OMG I wish I could forward a link of this to this arogant, cocky, body building, piece of ****, I work withs email. Not only does everything about him piss me off (like his big ****ing head), but he to talks while eating. Snacking threw out the whole day, he also sits behind me, in a very quite office, and crunchy chips and monsters seem to be his favorites. Some help me, I am usually a very nice person, but this leg shaving, A hole, know it all, makes me want to strangle him.
Brand new job and I now share an office with a slurp-suck-slop-lick-tongue-slosher (SSSLTS). It started on the first day of work and I looked over in horror. I could not believe how disgusting it was. Why is it that people like this eat constantly throughout the day, as if their nasty vile mouths have to be going at all times?
I like this job but it’s only the first week. As of day 3 (today) I left our office whenever he started, but I need to work!
What about getting your own lunch or gross snack and trying to replicate or mimmick the disgusting SSSLTS so he realizes what he sounds like? Would that work? Seems risky when I’m trying to make a good impression at the new position. Going CRAZY. Seriously. It does come with a weird breathing component. It’s like they are breathing and slurping both in and out at the same time as chewing?
O my god Im glad someone feels me on this matter. As a matter of fact i am sitting in the room with my disgusting roomate right now just listening to the sloppy smacking and crunching of him eating taco bell. Whats worse is he washes the nastiness down with his drink and then crunches the ice so ******* loud its like he is trying to do it. I’m sorry but this pet peeve is maybe more than that as it can literally put me in a horrible mood for hours just at the sound and sight of the **** rolling around in his mouth. It should be illegal for someone to do this. Honestly people should be arrested for chewing with their mouth open. Sorry for the rant im just ******* disgusted and EXTREMELY annoyed.
I believe there is some sort of mental deficiency behind chronic open mouth mastication. Reading all of this, while funny, has reminded me of the horror I will face in a couple of days at Thanksgiving dinner. My step-father chews with his mouth open… but there is more to it than a lack of manners. There is some lack of maturation that goes down to the biological level. He is a disgusting man but you have a hard time hating him for it because he doesn’t know better.
Ugh, I can still picture that dumb face at last year’s Thanksgiving dinner just retardedly munching away as he blabs on about dumb old cars and NASCAR.
This guy also drinks beer everyday of his life. He built a bar in the kitchen with a space for a small refrigerator that is dedicated just for his beer. And the idiot acts proud about it. He recently bought a new refrigerator for it so he had to proudly ask me how I liked his new “beer fridge”… filled with about a case of Natural Light. So not only do I have to listen to this moron chomp away at his fatty overfilled plates of food, I get to here him slurping down that bottom of the barrel piss water and constantly burping all day.
I dread summer time though… because on top of what all I have told you already, when it’s hot he walks around with only these ratty old gym shorts (ones that look like he’s had since he was 15) and NO SHIRT. This guy has a beer belly that looks like an oversized, water-filled punching balloon and you can see the belly button poking out like it’s about to explode. He’ll sit around and rub the top of it like it is his pet or something. I bet you could set a couple of beers on it. I made the mistake of going over to their house when I was tripping on a bit of acid and he had his shirt off… oh the horror!
This guy smokes all the time also… as if he wasn’t repulsive enough. When I used to live there I remember hearing him in the shower during first thing in the morning while he was coughing up a lung for half an hour. That was years ago… I can only imagine (well I don’t want to really) what crap he is blowing out of the bottom of his black, atrophied lungs out onto to shower wall, all over the shower curtain and around the drain. It’s probably some black, fleshy mucus like puss-smelly chunks. He probably picks them up and squeezes them flat like cheddar cheese with his forefinger and thumb after he is done licking and smelling it and then laughing about it.
I just corrected an adult co-worker on this. Shall I mention first that we work in telephone sales???? Yes, a mouth full of apple on the phone!! GROSS! I asked her, “could you chew a little louder?” She said, “Maybe you have good ears. I am just eating the apple.” I told her, “I know, everyone can hear it!”
This experience is what led me to find this site – thank you for giving me a place to vent. I may retain my sense now.
Some of the earliest memories I have are of feeling overwhelming and debilitating rage at the sounds of chewing and eating. This is hard to even type without becoming absolutely enraged. My parents of course never understood. In fact no one I’ve met in person (that I know of) understands. The greatest mistake I’ve ever made was letting people know about it. One time, back in high school, a friend did it just to piss me off at a party. I almost lost it, and did storm out. I’m pretty sure I threw a shoe. It’s probably one of those things they still talk about when I’m not around.
In the past it’s enraged me so much I’ve hurt myself (punching myself in the head and ears until all I could feel was pain). I haven’t snapped that badly in a long time, and I believe it’s mostly because I now avoid situations where it’s that bad. When I have to be there, I do everything I can to get away from it, or to block my ears. I’m sure it’s conspicuous, but I don’t care. I will never tell someone to stop, because if they’re doing it, there is absolutely no way they’ll ever understand, and indeed may use it against me.
It bothers me so much that I even get mad when someone calls it a “pet peeve” or some other bullshit name, because that phrase sounds too innocent. It’s a psychological disorder at best. If I could have just a single wish in my whole entire life, I would instantly and unequivocally choose to not suffer from this. If this sounds insane to you, or if you think I’m joking, then you will never understand. Some things annoy me. Loud belching annoys me. Snoring annoys me. Mouth sounds are entirely different. They fill me with white hot rage that takes a huge measure of self control to not act on.
Of course this leads to certain problems in life. I can never own a dog, ever. Even cats would be pushing it. I have twice agreed to watching my friend’s dog while he traveled. I should have said no. Words cannot describe how enraged I get at it. I will give it food and water, but I can’t be near it. If I just sat there and listened to it, I would probably snap.
Why would I agree to watch the dog? For one, I have a really hard time saying no to helping out friends. For another, I could never tell them the reason why I didn’t want to help them.
My condition is so bad that I question whether I could ever have kids. The fear of passing it on genetically has given me serious pause when thinking about whether I could have kids of my own. I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone. When I was younger, if the noises had caused me to almost lose it, I would sometimes consider killing myself just to not have to have to feel that way ever again. Luckily I haven’t felt that way in many years.
I haven’t been able to find any name for such a condition, but forums like this one have finally made me realize I’m not alone. I’ve read someone talk about some kind of behavioral conditioning treatment, but I’ve extremely skeptical of that. Can behavioral conditioning treat cancer? That’s how much a part of me this feels.
I considered taking a moment to describe my thoughts of what I would do to someone or something that was making such noises. I decided not to go into too much detail. Basically it involves smashing in the mouth area with a blunt object or bare hands and not stopping. It’s odd that when I’m in the situation where I hear it, the thought helps calm me down, and when I’m not in the situation it makes me start to feel the rage.
I believe that as I’ve grown older I have subconsciously found ways to help me deal with the problem. The problem itself is just as bad as ever; it is absolutely, without question the worst thing I can be forced to endure. What has changed with time, I believe, is my ability to return to my previous emotional state once the noise has stopped. It requires a great deal of self control, but if I’m in a decent mood before the noise begins, I can usually force myself to forget about it once the noise has stopped. I have to be very careful not to dwell on it in even the slightest capacity, or I can be pulled into a mood of rage, followed by despair.
I know this has been a very long, poorly structured post. I felt the need to share this, so that hopefully others will be able to understand from my writing what I could never convey in person. Thanks for reading, and please post any medical treatments you may know of. I would happily take medication to be freed from this condition.
thank you for this site – one of the few places confirming I am not asking too much of my family! I am certain they chew their food with mouths wide open just to annoy me. It is pretty sad b/c it is the only thing that really makes me uncomfortable and irritated…. I am a nurse – believe me, there are many things that could do it and yet, this is the one! again, thank you…
stef
oh and i forgot to ask – is there a dating site – sort of like an EHarmony site for people who just want to date people with basic – and I mean very basic manners? I know I am not the first one to think this….. trust me, none of my dates – some of whom turned into lovers – NEVER started out this way….. how do we find those closet SMACKERS before it’s tooooo late? sorry – I sort of had a funny thought about this – forgive me….
stef
I agree completely! I wonder what’s so hard about keeping one’s mouth shut while eating….
This has got to be the funniest site I’ve come across in a long time. Thank G-d, I’m not the only one who can’t stand these d-mn mouth breathers who insist on smacking their gobs whilst its full of the stuff. I only just found this site in hopes of finding relief from the loser who’s sitting across from me at Starbucks open-mouthing his yogurt parfait. Ever seen a dog with peanut butter stuck in the roof if its mouth? The loser could probably give the dog lessons in lip smacking.
I agree completely, this is one of the most repulsive habits I’ve ever seen — with the possible exception of a late relative who used to bite his toenails in the living room. At least HE was quiet about it!
Unfortunately, I’ve recently gotten engaged to someone who chews with her mouth open, as well as her two kids (ages 10 and 18). I’ve been gritting my teeth so much that my TMJ has flared up again.
When I’ve mentioned it, she acts astonished and baffled, and gives me the “are you insane” look, closely followed by the “when did you turn into an anal retentive” look.
Having lived with it for so long, all three are apparently immune (and oblivious) to the noise and the sights.
I figure it’s too late for her and the 18-year old, but I have hopes that the 10-year old can be saved from a lifetime of grossing out his dining companions. But it’s tough when Mom and his older brother are champing and slobbering over their food on either side of him.
Any suggestions for curbing this nauseating habit in the adults? I’ve been thinking about the shock collars people use to train dogs… think that might work?
Oh, how happy I am to have found that other people share my neurotic revulsion at listening to others chew! I thought I was the only one. And I completely understand that feeling of rage: I want to tear people’s tongues out and wrap them around their heads when I have to listen to them smack.
I, too, have gotten better at hiding and stifling my reactions as I get older, but it takes a whole lot of willpower to keep from screaming at the offender.
Thank you, all, for sharing!
I love that this thread exists! I’m glad I’m not the only person slowly dying inside while having to put up with listening to a cow eating next to me.
I started dating a guy just over 2 months ago. Everything was going swimmingly and we had eaten out together on several occasions with no problems. He was obviously on his best behaviour to start off with because now he has let his guard down and has gone back to his old country ways of chewing with his mouth open. He also hunches over his food and breathes heavily. I just don’t get it. He has devolved before my very eyes.
It makes me want to scream and hit him in the head with a hammer. I had hoped this relationship was going to go somewhere but now I have my doubts that I could handle the food noises. It is so bad that I would prefer not to eat with him at all. I hate getting indian/mexican food because of the pappadums/corn chips.
There should be some sort of public education program for people like him. There should be mobile food police officers giving on the spot fines for chewing with your mouth open. I like John’s idea of shock collars. It might be worth looking into. It is absolutely vile and it is a very inefficient way to eat.
I think I will just have to tell him straight out or I will have to leave him.
We shouldn’t have to put up with this. It is not us that have the problem. It is the cow eaters. We walk upright, live in houses and have opposable thumbs, therefore, we chew with our mouths closed. Simple.
I’m so glad I’m not the only person who gets wound-up by this.
I’m lucky enough to have it in full blown cinematic Dolby surround. I have a coworker opposite me who eats constantly and I get to see it/hear it all going round. He only stops to pick his nose.
To my right, and just in my line of sight I have a coworker who is incapable of breathing through his nose and therefore grunts/whistles constantly, and who also insists on chewing gum with his gob wide open.
My lunch has reappeared several times in the last week as it makes me feel that nauseous, what do I do?!
It’s wonderful that I’m not the only person that sees this as nerve-wracking as Chinese water torture. Seriously, there should be support groups for people who deal with this. My coworker eats at her desk most of the day. I can handle chewing, but that lip-smacking sound makes me want to throw myself out the window. I leave the room every time she smacks and slurps. Sometimes I just sit and stare at her with a disgusted look on my face. Since I’m a wuss I haven’t said anything yet, but I plan on using on of the tactics I read about on here the next time she eats. So thank you for saving her life and mine, because I don’t want to go to jail…
This is SUCH a pet peeve of mine!! My husband not only chews with his mouth open, but slurps horribly. No, not soup…pizza cheese. He bites halfway into the slice, pulls it about a foot away from his face, then loudly slurps the cheese into his mouth. IT”S GROSS. Needless to say, we don’t have pizza often. He also tends to not wait for his food to cool, so in goes the scalding hot whatever followed by inhaling/slurping sound to cool it. I refuse to be in the same room when he eats now. My daughter is almost as bad, but at least she’s working on it somewhat. Oh, and hubby actually used his manners when we were dating and didn’t slurp, smack, or chew with his mouth open until several years into our marriage.
Wel none of you are going to like this, but it will help. Whenever the offending person starts their meal with a view for you, pull out your food and get ready. When they start, you start. Eat as messily as you can, mouth wide open, talk and let food fly out of your mouth, on them if you can, and on their food. Laugh about it, get close to them and keep eating loudly. When you are done. Put away your things neatly. Turn to look at them and ask them how they liked your meal. Did they like how you never kept your mouth closed, how they saw your food in your mouth, how it was loud and rude and disgusting? Then ask them if they knew that they chewed with their mouth open all the time and that it bothers you.
Bless you sir! I was laughing my *** off reading these posts and my SO, (who really is trying to stop but is as of yet pretty unsuccessful…), asked me what I was reading and at first I answered that he probably wouldn’t be as amused as I was with it but after a few minutes of laughing I finally told him. I don’t normally nag on one certain thing more than a couple of times because after the first few I feel like a **** so he asked if he was still doing it and I said yeah… Now he is beating himself up about it which makes me feel guilty and so I likely won’t bring it up again. sigh…. I do love him. I should be able to overlook this little thing, right? But it does make me mad and ruins my appetite and grosses me out. He says that nobody has ever told him he smacks his food. I remember my mom telling me and my brother to stop when we were kids. Until I met him I didn’t realize adults did that… I think it is really the parents fault. I find nose picking to be on about the same level. Anyhow, like everyone else I am relieved to find others that share my hatred of food smacking. Thanks for the hilarious read :)
As I have sat here all day listening to my co-worker, who sits 5 feet away from me outside my office door (can’t close it, it’s a shared office and my office-mate is the “constantly hot” person at the office, and if I closed the door shed likely suffocate), make that tongue-against-the-roof-of-the-mouth-suction noise R E P E A T E D L Y for the last 5 hours I have been searching the net looking for a subtle way to tell her she sounds like a disgusting animal. She does this ALL THE TIME, not just when she’s eating… but when she IS eating (and she is also the constant snacker) it is amplified to the maximum. All day, all day, all day that smacking noise every 10-20 seconds. I just don’t get it and it is driving me nuts. I grew up in a family where we’d have been smacked upside the head if we made noises while eating or chewing gum and I always thought I was hypersensitive to it because of that so I’m glad I’m not nuts. But what can I do about this chick aside from sewing her mouth shut or requesting she have her tongue surgically removed?
Oh I reallyyyy hate it when people chew with their mouth open!!! I particularly hate the sound of it! I have a colleague who would chew with her mouth open every time we have lunch. After tolerating this behaviour for 3 years, I finally said to her in jokingly, “yo gal, close your mouth when you eat”. She got SOOOO defensive and claimed that she didn’t do such a thing!
This is the moment when “silence is the best answer”.
Ohh come on…. I can’t be imagining those sound and sight, they are so disgusting! Now I know that she’s not only freakin’ annoying but also can’t take criticism, I’ve stopped having lunch with her.
Yuck!!!!!
I cant believe it. I lunch with some one nearly every day that chews with their mouth open. No matter what it is, there is the smacking, clucking sound and a disgusting visual (if you happen to look over that way) of food partially chewed inbetween the smacking sound. Often times they also attempt to put additional food in while they are still smacking and slurping on the bite they just took. How do you comment on that. I have come close to saying something many times, but just didnt know what to day other than can youplease close you mouth? How disgustingly gross.
So glad Im not alone in peeve of loud, nasty, open chewing. Sad thing is this: my spouse was a well mannered eater before we married. But now, seven years later, his open mouthed, sloshy, loud, nasty eating drives me insane. I HAVE to leave the room when he eats. It is so disgusting. I have mentioned this to him numerous times, but he just says: “Im eating”. HA! I think he does is just so I will leave the room. I do wonder though: how in the h@*! he can hear the tv when he is eating?! No wonder he turns it up.
I happen to know someone who chews with their mouth shut, but you can still hear the chewing sounds. Agreed, that its annoying, but could there be a medical reason for this – maybe excessive saliva generation, jaw structure, etc? I’ve spoken to them about it but they just don’t know what they could do different to stop the noises.
Any constructive thoughts? Thanks!
Morticia…..do we work with the same person? Oh my goodness. I don’t know how people can do it. It drive’s me nuts every single work day, to sit across from someone who sounds like a cow constantly chewing and snacking….oh the sunflower seeds must be the worst….she eats them one by one, and they are even already shelled… each little seed, you wouldnt think these little seeds could possibly make such noise…but some how, she does it! This is not the kind of person who take’s a hint either, she is oblivious to her own grossness. ewwww. We need reform for these inconsiderate cow chewers.
Ugh. This can bring me close to tears under the right circumstances. If I’m trapped, it’s everything I can do to not go mental on the person doing it. My desk-mate is an open-mouth chewer and food smacker. We’ve even had discussions about the nastiness of it and her reply was “people these days just aren’t aware of their surroundings.” Reeeealllly???!! I now leave whenever she begins eating – even if she’s in the middle of talking to me or asking me to do something, I get up and leave without a word. For most of her meals, I need only be gone for about 5 minutes. If it’s a salad, I need to find something to keep me away for a good 30 minutes, because she takes forever to eat it, making wet chewy smacking noises the whole time (made worse by the the almost cup of ranch dressing she puts on it). Kill me.
I totally go nuts when people do this. Last night, while out to dinner, I told my son’s girlfriend (our third meeting) ” I’m just bold. I’m sorry that I have to tell you that chewing with food in your mouth is my greatest pet peeve. I can’t help it, it just is.” I really like this gal and they have been going together for quite some time,i.e. I DON’T want a DIL of mine to be chewing with her mouth open!!!!! That’s that. (I may have to tell her again….I I need to …I WILL!)
I have TWO room-mates who hit what I call “the big four”: chomping the food, smacking the lips, sucking the fingers, and the breathing finish. I’m very glad my family taught me manners very early in life, and even then, for some reason, it’s very easy to slip back into those eating habits. I make it a point to be aware of how loud I am when I eat, as it seems I’m the only one in my apartment aware of this. It’s a VILE habit, above picking your nose and eating it. I can’t help but think that those who eat with their mouths open were raised by pigs.
Joe, I know what you\’re talking about. My mom could ALWAYS hear me chewing, and she wouldn\’t stop STARING at me when I did. That was most of the reason I have good table manners, at least as far as not being loud with my food. It drives me f***ing nuts when people eat like hogs!
People who chew with their mouths open disgust me. It doesn’t matter if you’re eating sushi or steak, chewing gum or munching popcorn – there’s no acceptable reason to chew with your mouth open. I also cannot stand when people make noises while licking lollipops. The sounds always remind me of a mix between a dog licking its ***, and the sounds of someone giving someone else a sloppy blow-job (I apologize for that, but it’s true). I don’t need to hear all that. And I make no exceptions either, not for anyone.
My stepfather, half-sister (his and my mom’s daughter), and his entire family all chew with their mouths open, etc. I despise them because of this. We’re not cows, pigs or dogs – there’s no reason for all of that. It’s even worse because on my mother’s side of the family, we were specifically taught NOT to do this at a young age. Our grandmother would swat us at the dinner table if we didn’t “eat like we had some common sense”. It confuses me why my mother doesn’t teach my sister this, when she herself (as do the rest of us who grew up with my grandmother) has near-perfect table manners.
I also have a thing with people eating in general, but this I try my hardest not to complain about, because.. I’m not sure if it’s normal or not. I cannot stand the SOUNDS people make when they eat, even the well-mannered people who eat with their mouth closed. That wet, slosh-y sound of food being swished around inside other people’s mouths is enough to make me vomit, and this is why I eat alone. I’m find in the middle of a cafeteria, because the sounds of people talking usually drown out the individual sounds of people eating, but I can’t eat at a small table with just one other person because I’ll HEAR them eating and.. ugh.
But yes, I don’t know why these neanderthals can’t just chew with their **** mouths shut. It’s really not that hard at all. /rant
The sound of chewing has always gotten right up my nose. My mom, whom I like quite a lot otherwise and who has impeccable manners, must have read somewhere that you should chew your food 100 times. She just sits there and chews and chews and chews. And chews. The funny thing is that she takes tiny bites so I think it’s probably all digested by the time she actually swallows! She does, at least, chew with her mouth closed. But it’s still really noisy. Uck.
My beloved, for some reason, has started chewing with his mouth open. We’ve been together for almost three years and this only started a couple of weeks ago. I have no idea where this came from. He’s especially bad about it when he’s eating chips and other crunchy foods. It’s almost to the point that I have to leave the room.
He doesn’t normally have bad manners, table or otherwise. He doesn’t belch or scratch himself in public and he opens the door for me. He also doesn’t chew with his mouth open at restaurants. All signs of a polite, well-brought up person.
For the life of me, I cannot understand why this has just started. He’s pretty great otherwise – kind and generous, thoughtful and hardworking. If this is his worst fault, then I’m not sure I can bring myself to complain about something that, in the great scheme of things, is pretty minor. And I’m sure I have annoying habits of my own.
It’s just so frustrating to me that all of us here have to be put in such an uncomfortable position. We shouldn’t have to ask people to have basic good manners. I mean it’s one thing to do what you want in the privacy of your own home – but in the company of other people? And at work where a person should be professional? I can’t imagine behaving like that. And I resent being the “bad guy”. And why on earth are people so proud of bad manners?
AND how does the food not fall out? I tried eating with my mouth open once (at home, alone, I must add) just to see. I totally couldn’t do it! Of course, this might explain all the “food on chin” comments I read here, too.
Thank you to whomever started this site. I feel a little better already. (Of course, he finished the darn chips so maybe that’s why…)
MARRIAGE IS BREAKING, please help!!
I feel so inappropriate and guilty to even write about this… My wife and I were married for several years, she is a very beautiful girl, and she is a true love of my life. I am a guy, and I am supposed to make our meals together romantic and enjoyable for both of us. But she has this habit to chew not quite closing her lips and talk just after taking a bite. This drives me nuts inside, and I can’t make things romantic. Just trying to deal with it inside and distract myself somehow. But my wife is suffering from my behaviour, because it is her life dream to have romantic dinners, talks, discusions etc. I’d love this too, but the moment she starts talking while having food in her mouth ruins everything. I know I shouldn’t even pay attention to such small things, because I am just a regular, uninteresting guy and a husband, and she is a very sweet very beautiful girl. But this really ruins our life and marriage. Couple of times (in several years) I tried to tell her what my problem is, very delicately I think, and thought it’s so simple just to make a small change and things would become great in our life. But she felt very deeply *insulted*, refused to change anything in herself, and felt that a normal man should be ashamed to ask a lady something like this. To even notice this. Now, her dreams of romantic relationship, enjoyable dinners filled with discussions are all gone. After years of marriage to me, she feels absolutely broken inside and says she developed a complex about her eating in public because of me. It’s either I do something to my percaption of this issue, or we’d have to get a divorce. It’s so silly. Such a tiny thing is able to ruin a marriage. I know she won’t change anything, I have to make a change in myself. Is there a therapy for this? Please advice.
I hate the sound of people chewing with their mouths open. My mother actually told me I needed psychiatric help because of how much it annoys and angers me. As a result of my first snapping at my family to chew with their mouth’s closed, then asking kindly after repeated family discussions, I am no longer allowed (at the age of 22 years old) to ask someone in my household to kindly chew with their mouth closed. They literally think I have a clinical problem because of how much the sound annoys me.
Me again. I finally broke up with my boyfriend. It wasn’t totally due to the open-mouthed chewing but for christ’s sakes it didn’t help! The funny (horrible) thing is that my step-dad chews with his mouth open too! How the **** do you smack ice cream? I end up leaving the room. lol oh well. Only 7 more months :) Good luck all!!
My brother (20) was just downstairs eating Chinese food. My god, I can not tell you how many times I have had to leave the room due to this terrible effing habit. Then he started crunching on a fortune cookie DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FORTUNE COOKIE. I honestly dont get what is so hard about closing the MF’ing trap.
I also hate how it’s always ‘my problem’ that I cant stand the noises……….
UGH!! I sit about 5 feet from a guy at work who faces me with no wall in between and he eats like a cowall day. Gum, cereal(which he slurps out of the bowl) and anything else he can get his mouth on. Plus, he takes a bite big enough for about 4-5 people and chews it 30+ times. I cannot stand it, I want to bang my head into the wall. I cannot use headphones at work since I have to answer the phone. I tried using only one ear, but his chewing is so loud, that won’t even drown it out. We are a small group, only 4 of us here and since we are so close together, I cannot play a radio either. You would think this guy is 5 years old the way he eats, but he is 35!! Plus, he is married. I do not know how his wife has not beaten it out of him yet unless she is a cow too!! I have been looking for a new job it is so bad!!!
i’m dying inside. everybody around me chews with their mouths open…and it’s not just a 10-15 minute sit down, it’s over the course of an hour or so. they’ll take a few bites, talk, turn around and work on the comp, smack their food, wipe their hands and answer the phone with food in their mouth, then turn around and do it all over again. if you think that’s bad…hold onto your hat. lunch is with a korean, a cambodian, and a couple of mexicans. i have to smell fish, squid, kimchi, and whatever greasy food the mexicans are eating these days. oh, and the lunch table is 2 feet behind my chair. there is no ventilation in this room, and any unfinished food goes into the trash can with no lid that is 5 feet from my desk. if you want to talk about a stress test that’s out of control, i got a story that could top those of a vietnam vet’s.
AHHH. I work in a school and we have recently aquired a student teacher who is very nice but has a horrible problem with chewing with his mouth open. It is not normal. It is not just talking and eating but his toung actually comes out of his mouth while he is chewing! I do not know if he needs to do this to keep the food moving around his mouth or if he has some sort of a problem but I can tell I am not the only person who can not stand this because the only empty seats at the luch table are the ones next to him! I hate getting to lunch last! Its a small table and he is so hard to avoid. There is nothing I can do to stop it. It takes all my attention not to glare at him!
Here is a solution. Give their email or phone number to someone you know that they DON’T know, and have this person send them a message, or two, or three until the problem is resolved or you know they are just doing it to be annoying.
I really dont know what has happened.
My father started it, he is fat and overweight (no offence) but it is pure fact. When eating he chomps loudly with his mouth open, tries to mutter conversations to me or the rest of the family and friends if they are there. Sometimes when we get in the car after a meal he loudly belches after we are trapped in the car. I have to resort to undoing the window because his belch is disgusting and I am trapped in the car most of the times with mum and it freaks me out.
When being brought up as a child my parents went to great lengths to ensure I had great table manners (no chomping loudly, no belching and no farting ‘at least not around others’, no talking with your mouth full).
The problem has become progressively worse, it has infected both my sisters, the eldest one more so than the younger. They both seem to now have been passed on terrible table manners by the hypocrit of my parents that once professed to good table manners.
My mum who has recently become a fatty is also the latest victim in this crime against good manners. Now she always talks with her mouth full and looks at you and knows your staring in awkwardness into the deep abyss that is. It is amplified ten times as worse when after the mean she licks her thumbs and fingers and fingers back to thumbs then if there are desserts after the main meal on the table she proceeds to offer me dessert food with those dirty fingers and thumbs she has just been licking and sucking on.
What is it? Why is it infecting my family? Where have all the good manners gone?
The latest victim has been me and now I have put a full stop to it. If anyone is near me no matter who they are and stupidly asks me questions or talks to me expecting some kind of a response when I am talking I look at them and do this silly thing where I point at my mouth to show them it is full and does this silly circular thing with my finger so they are fully aware I am eating and do not expect me to be responsive to you when you do things like that to me.
I recently today informed mum some very recent examples of her bad manners of eating with mouth full and licking fingers. She responded “Well you **** and belch dont you”.
The simple fact is yes I do but it is quiet and it is in privacy with respect to others who dont want to hear such rude things.
I believe it stems down to being over worked, over stressed, putting weight on and trying to do things too fast. People seem to have lost the ability to recognise flaws in themselves and they go on the defensive.
When the time is right I am going to make my family fully aware that there is no offence intended to them regarding there manners but those manners have been broken and that is a fact. I will detach my emotions from the conversation and inform them for both theirs and my sake to please stop breaking table manners.
oh and in addition to the above article, if the non-emotional communction talk with my family does not prevail those good table manners I see back I am going to buy and air horn and every time they chew with their mouth open I am going to blow it right at them.
I came upon this site because I googled “how do you tell someone that they chew loudly?” AND I AM SO HAPPY YOU WROTE THIS ARTICLE and I read all the responses! I haven’t liked loud open-mouth chewers since I was little! I used to wear head phones at the dinner table because of my disgusting older brother (he’s not really, just when he was eating :) I’m young enough where my friends think I am crazy if I say ANYTHING about etiquette. It’s my generation that grew up eating fast food and forgetting about manners – chewing with their mouth open, shoveling food, gripping forks like cave men, burping out loud after a soda or beer, and smacking their food incredibly loud! I am a teacher and there are several people in the small group of people that I eat lunch with that have TERRIBLE manners… To the point where I want to leave my OWN classroom during lunch. I have no idea how to avoid this because they come to MY room to eat, but they make it so uncomfortable! I often say, ‘If they’re rude enough to eat like that, I can be rude enough to tell them it bothers me…” but I always chicken out! Any advice?
And as for the man who says his marriage was failing because of his wife’s eating habits – I hate to say it, but she SHOULD develop a “complex” about eating in public. If its something bad enough for you to mention, she should be aware of how she is eating in front of others.
Well, I’m glad I’m not alone, here, finding it horribly disgusting to have some one chew loudly/mouth open.
I ended up on this article here because I have many Chinese co-workers. To a person, these are talented, bright, hard-working individuals. But, each, also, chews with his or her mouth open. And, not just chews, but almost clucks the food and smacks his or her lips. Sometimes I find myself staring at them, contemplating the almost unbelievable noise they make. Lately, I’ve taken to avoiding, completely, eating with them, including team lunches and such.
I understand in many parts of China this is a good thing to do, to show one’s appreciation of the food.
Of course, this drives me absolutely crazy. And, of course it’s verboten to even contemplate telling them to stop. As the only American on my team of about 20 (yes, I do work in America, but in a high-tech field), I don’t think it would go over well…
Just venting, because obviously it’s an irreconcilable situation. As hard as it is to tell someone who shares your cultural norms, and therefore knows its rude, to stop smacking their food, I have to say I’d trade my lot for an opportunity to do that. They probably find me rude for not doing it! Maybe I could ask them just that…
Thank yo to everyone who has posted their stories, and hopefully many more people will continue to find this site and post their strories as well. Then maybe one day a number of the cud munchers will find this site too.
I work in an office with six other people who all smack, slurp, suck, and any other noise you can think of. The two people who sit closest to me smack their gum, and chew it with their mouths open, and one of them also pops and cracks it. This goes on from seven a.m. to four p.m. WTF!!!!!
After reading the article, and all the posts I have decided that I am going to download sound clips of silverware screaching, nails on chalkboard, and any other horrible sounds I can find, and I am going to play one of the sounds every time one of the J*******S smacks or slurps.
I like my job otherwise I would just quit. My family feels like I am the eating Nazi, but they just cant seem to understand the amount of rage these noises instill in someone like me. I have often thought that becoming a hermit would be the best thing for me.
Thanks for having a place to vent and allowing people like me to see that there are other “crazy” people out there who are also rude for telling people the truth.
I’m glad to know that there are other people out there suffering the same affliction as me, not that it’s a good thing for any of us to suffer in this way. I had been wondering if I was abnormally sensitive for a long time; I’ve been acutely aware of other people’s open-mouthed chewing for as long as I can remember. It’s not so much the visuals, as revolting as they are, the worst part by far (for me) is the noises that some people are capable of producing while they eat. I don’t understand why I am so negatively affected by it, but as one other poster mentioned earlier, the sounds of open-mouthed chewing always remind me of oral *** or a dog licking itself. I find it really disturbing, to the point where I have to leave the room and not return until the offending person/s have finished their meal. Once someone starts up, I can’t seem to stop being tortured by THE NOISES until they stop eating. If I am unable to leave the room, all I can do is try to remain calm and will the offending chewer to hurry up and finish their food before I snap and scream at them to eat with their ******* mouths closed.
My husband’s immediate family all chew noisily with their mouths open, in a really slow, affected way – accompanied by the usual unsightly views of partly-masticated food lolling around on their tongues and more often than not being deposited outside the corners of the mouth – and sometimes I have to wonder if they do it on purpose as a bit of a calculated “F you!” to politeness. They’re all working professionals who in many other ways are well-mannered, cultured people. This illusion is always shattered, however, whenever I have to eat with them and I seem to be about the only person in the family who is affected by it. I even went through a phase of wearing earplugs to their dinner table. I might have to start keeping a pair on standby again. My tolerance levels seem to vary from time to time and the loud eaters in the family have been more noticeable to me lately. I find myself making up excuses to get out of having to eat with them because I’d prefer to enjoy my food alone and in silence than have to endure their disgusting habits. Like a few other people on this forum I am a wuss when it comes to confronting people, so I usually sit there, grit my teeth and hope my father in law (who is the worst perpetrator of the crime) doesn’t request seconds.
My husband got a bit worried tonight when I was telling him that the very noises his parents and sister make while eating make me want to smack them in the mouth (of course I would never do this in real life) and he suggested that it might be a good idea to see a counsellor about it.. hmm, maybe one day. Can’t help but think it’d be much easier if his family would just wake up and realise how completely retarded they appear when they’re eating – then they might finally decide to learn basic etiquette like the rest of us.
Frankly, I’m sick of these open mouther pigs that think we’re the ones with a the problem and their disgusting noises. They should be ostracized and ridiculed by the media and society rather than glorified. I’m not sure about other countries, but at some point in the U.S., “crunchy” became a “taste”. Crunchy Doritos, Crunchy Cheetos, crunch crunch crunch in your face every time you turn on the **** tv.
They advertise food with disgusting eating noises. Sometimes I fantasize about kidnapping a crunchy snack executive and scarfing down crunchy snacks and spewing it all over him while angrily crinkling one of their crinkly crunchy snack bags in his god **** ear with occasional punches to the stomach. Do eating noises really send the open mouther hoardes charging to the store for something to eat? They should be sent to manners prison then.
I’m actually fairly certain that these open mouthers are the root of all the worlds problems. If you’re so dense that you think eating like a pig isn’t a problem, it’s because you are a pig and not just with eating.
I love my husband desperately but, for the past 5 years, he has driven me CRAZY with cow-type chewing. I do not know how to tell him as I am not perfect and do not want to hurt his feelings. However we are in the public eye a LOT (I am a local politician and he accompanies me to events including DINNER with other political groups, schools, business owners, and VERY prominent people). It very much embarrasses me to bring him. I am torn – I love to have him by my side but am afraid that we will LOSE invites, clients, and supporters (including friends) if he does not stop. My family is all deceased but his family has bad chewing manners too. Thankfully they live all across the globe or, like the guy above, I’d have to get out the duct tape. I am SO disgusted by it (he is a quiet eater but I still get the visual of 1/2 chewed food in his mouth) and I LOVE him. If it makes ME ill I’m sure it makes everyone else who eats around us even MORE ill because they do not “love” him. Even our children have said, “Mom can’t you do something about that, it’s embarrassing with my friends too”. It’s so BAD that I am considering LEAVING him. Other than that it’s perfect. I’ve TRIED to talk to him about it but he doesn’t “get the hint”. Oh my… what to do. I’ve held it in for 5 years (other than the times I tried hinting) and am about to give up. He is amazingly handsome but, as soon as he eats, his looks go VERY FAR, FAR AWAY !! He is college educated so no excuses other than his parents never taught any of their kids about this manner! The LAST hope is to somehow get him to see this post and read it and GET THE HINT. If that doesn’t work I have NO choice but to leave him. After I leave it’d be easier for me to tell him why. I am DEFINITELY NOT perfect and he tells me the things that bother him so why can’t I do it back? It’s MY issue I guess but I cannot hurt him. He is an amazing husband in every other way. I just cannot overlook this HORRIBLE habit of his… gum or food… there is no discrimination.
Haha! I can’t believe all these comments. I thought it was just me! My husband makes alot of noises, eating with his mouth open. I love the post that says, “how the **** do you smack ice cream?! Yup, I know what you mean. I love my husband but I admit, I am very mean to him about it because I don’t understand how it is so hard to just close your mouth. Every friggin’ morning he eats oatmeal while I’m still in bed, and I have to wake up to smacking and slurping, it’s so d*** annoying!!!!! I’m just going to leave the room or ask him to leave the room for now on. Makes me want to smack him upside the head. He knows how bad it annoys me, but he does it anyway. I have considered that maybe he has trouble breathing through his nose. This is the only time I would excuse such behavior, like if someone has chronic sinus trouble, or a severely deviated septum. I don’t think that’s the case with him though, I just think he’s ill-mannered. He always finishes his meals waaaay faster than I do because he takes big bites and slops his food down so fast. And he will start a conversation with a mouth full of food. I tell him, sorry, I don’t talk with my mouth full, or I tell him that he is going to end up choking, the way he eats. One time we were out to eat with his father, and his father said, ” son, calm down….you eat too fast.” I was laughing inside. It’s probably partly me being a little psychotic, since I have hated people smacking their mouths from the time I was a child, but it’s also ill-mannered on his part. What really gets me, is when someone smacks, and they are not even eating, WTH? Another issue. lol.
Check this out. What chick who thinks she’s so on top everything & so prissy, yet sounds like something right off of ” Old MacDonalds Farm “. The crazy thing about it is she has the nerve to act like I’ve cursed her out when I say something in a mild manner about her irritable way of eating!
My 83 year old mother lives with me and I don’t eat at the table with her because she eats with her mouth open. Breakfast is the worst, as she slurps every single bite, which I can hear from my bedroom, where I am consuming my breakfast on the weekends. I’m grateful I don’t have to listen to it 7 days a week. But, I suffer through her smacking and slurping noises every night when she eats supper. The kicker is, she is hard of hearing and is oblivious to the noises she makes. My theory is that she feels that because she can’t hear, the noise I’m complaining about, doesn’t really exist and she can’t understand what on earth my problem is. I loose it every couple of weeks or so and tell her yet again, please chew with your mouth shut, I’m tire of listening to your smacking noise. She just looks at me like I have 3 heads, cause she can’t hear it. What do you say to a person who can’t accept they are doing anything wrong? I don’t eat with my mouth open, and neither do any of my kids. This offensive habit of hers has driven me to the point of wanting to put her into assisted living, because my sanity is at a breaking point.
I’m a couple years late to the party here, but I honestly have to say that many of you other posters definitely have your own problems with being neurotic about how people eat.
Certainly wanting people to chew with their mouths closed is reasonable, both for the “ick” factor and the possibilities of partially chewed food and saliva flying out and landing on food that other people would otherwise be eating. But complaining that somebody chews too loudly (even with their mouth closed)? That’s ridiculous.
I found post #29 from Dani particularly amusing. You’re going to regulate what people can put on one plate at a buffet? Seriously? Perhaps you’re the problem because you can’t stand the thought of your food touching. And people aren’t allowed to take a drink when having trouble swallowing food? Don’t get me wrong — it sounds like your short-term boyfriend had some disgusting table manners, but you have taken it over the top.
One last thing to think about — there are some people who cannot help chewing with their mouth open because they cannot breathe through their nose (allergies). You can easily identify these people by how they talk or the fact that they are always sneezing or blowing their noses. Give them a break. You wouldn’t want to hold your breath for every mouthful either.
For the next 4 weeks I get to work with someone who, although chews with her mouth closed, makes eating eggs sound like she’s chewing concrete. I’d love to crack her over the head with the radio that I have to turn on to drown out the sound, which is becoming less ineffective. I find solace knowing this is a temporary situation.
Reading this thread (all 88 posts) nearly made me cry.
I’ve been “suffering” from this affliction my entire life.
I remember asking my friends not to smack when I was a kid and feeling bad about it.
I now have a sister-in-law who won’t talk to me anymore because I very tactfully had a heart-to-heart conversation and mentioned her loud smacking and talking-with-mouth-full habits.
My wife is almost flawless in her heating habits (bless her), but slips on occassion – especially after being with her family.
But it is SERIOUSLY affecting me.
I don’t like going to movie theaters, for fear that the person behind me will be smacking their popcorn or slurping their coke (I once turned around and told a kid, “heh, slurpie mcslurpster, there isn’t any slurpie left in that empty cup, can you stop sucking your straw please!”…
I hate the sound of sucking one’s fingers (I could never go into a BBQ Ribs restaurant…OMG).
I hate the sound of sucking one’s teeth after a meal (my spouse does this…it kills me).
I hate the sound of teeth…gliding across the fork/spoon (really, you have to bite your utensil to get the food off — and don’t tell me its because you’re saving your lipstick — it’s not, you just have bad habits).
And hold your fork/spoon correctly – it isn’t a shovel, seriously, where were you raised, a barn?
….
My daughter, now 8, brings more and more of her friends over to eat and most of them have horrible table manners.
I’ve found, though, that when I compliment OTHER people at the table for their “great table manners” – that often the offenders will temporarily improve their manners.
I’ve NEVER had success pointing out bad behaviors.
But I have had success pointing out GOOD behavior around those that have bad behaviors. The people eating politely feel good and those eating poorly make small corrections….over time.
I’ve also said this, a couple times, with success — when someone starts talking with food in their mouth, “…oh, that’s OK, I’ll wait until you’re done chewing…” or something like that — and that’s worked pretty good.
I don’t know.
I’m relieved to find this site and hear others struggling with this. Maybe we should all pitch in and start a national advertising campaign or something. It seems to be getting worse and worse as we get older…or maybe I’m just becoming less tolerant.
Good luck to everybody….I’m right there with you!
Rich
Very happy to see this site and realize just how many people have the same issue that I have. I have always, since I was a child, had a seriously immutable dislike for the sound of food sloshing around in someone’s mouth, lips and teeth and tongue smacking around. I don’t need to reiterate everything that everyone else has said here. I feel the same way. But I will say that, although people have always chewed noisily, there is certainly a trend in recent decades for people to do it even more. Since the 1980s there has been a movement to get everyone to feel as if life is all about expressing themselves, making themselves heard, seen and noticed. This was a by-product of the “self-esteem” movement of the 1980s in the wake of a number of devastating child abuse cases. The idea of conforming to any sort of control has been popularly seen as uniformly bad. Being a “free-spirt” has been seen as the most important thing and in order to do that you need to make as much noise and have as much fun and personal expression as possible. It used to be taboo to brag about yourself yet facebook and other forms of media, products and commercials have made self congratulation into not only a habit but a requirement. This “fun aesthetic” has made it so that people in this generation value behaviors that were previously viewed as brash, conceited, inconsiderate, obnoxious, and reprehensible. This horrible scourge of loud mastication is a product of that. And, to make matters worse, we as a culture have become so self-absorbed and obsessed with our own self-expression that if someone were to dare ask that they change anything, it is not only an insult to their individualism, but popular culture says that you are a control freak. So many people on this post have complained about relationships that might have to end because of this issue. They are often made to feel that they are being ridiculous and petty for asking someone to chew differently. But, in reality, someone who cannot even attempt to make such a small change for someone they love is the one who is being petty. This issue can shake a relationship down to its core. I honestly could never have a short, or long term relationship with someone who chews loudly and is unwilling to attempt to change.
On whether or not this is a genetic issue. I had a talk with my 9 year old daughter today who said that if she could go back in time and find the first person to chew with his mouth open…she would KILL HIM!! She was just joking but, she explained that her friends drive her crazy. She’s only 9 years old and her comments during a 10 minute conversation echoed so many of the comments I’ve read above. Is this simply due to the fact that I’ve asked her a number of times since she was old enough to understand, to chew quietly? Or is there more to it? She doesn’t just think other people should be quiet. She feels emotionally assaulted by their noise. I never told her to feel that. She just does. Where did she get it from? I feel bad that she is experiencing the same difficulty I’ve always lived with but relieved that I can have a meal with her in peace. But this obviously goes beyond simple annoyance. It’s something else.
Just came here to say, I’m 50/50 on this whole “State of your mouth when eating” thing open/closed.
Couldn’t care less to be completely blunt.
And I mean I don’t get disgusted or troubled by the state of a person’s mouth when he or she is eating her food.
And I do not care whether you get anxious about other people’s habits when eating their food.
Though apparently there’s a condition which is not particularly uncommon, where people can involuntarily get incredibly annoyed or raged by some of these everyday sounds like slurping, chewing, sniffing, etc. Should try to be more sensitive perhaps.
Amen, brother. I’ve really struggled to let this annoyance go, to not be so sensitive, but I’m beginning to think it’s a losing battle. The only thing I find more difficult to do than trying to listen to it is bringing the subject up. There are, as far as I can see, no ways one can bring it up without not only looking like a jerk, but actually BECOMING one. The only thing ruder than chewing with your mouth is to voice your offenses and demand people dictate their own behavior to suit your preferences. Because that’s all it is, manners (or lack thereof), the problem is not so much with them as it is with us. As much as I would love to gather all who chew with their mouths open and throw them into a pit of lava for offending my basic right and need not to vomit, they’re not harming anyone. Being incredibly inconsiderate, but like you said, this is a habit formed in a lifetime and it’s most likely not going to change. All we can do it impress on the new generations to be different.
As for me, I carry around ear plugs. Even just plugging up one ear if someone is eating loudly is enough to calm the fury that rises up from within on such occasions. If anyone asks about it, I tell them it’s a long story and to continue with the conversation. If they press the subject I merely state that they mean me no offense by chewing with their mouths open (even though it does) and I mean them no offense by not wanting to hear them eat.
just sitting on a bus next to the most annoying person in the world! chewinh the gum with her gob wide open and smacking it all way long! so I googled and found your blog! bloody brilliant I wish I could smack the bubble gum all over her face!
ohh one more thing… deep nose digging?! seriously?!
Good point made here, however; you pause a show because your wife is consuming an apple?
This is strange behavior, now you have amplified the noise that bothers you so. Unfortunately I’m going to have to say, that I think the problem isn’t that the sounds of life irritate you, its that you are an intolerant *******. Perhaps a session of counseling to sort out you’re overzealous nuerotic behavior is in order, instead of complaining about petty peeves you possess via the web.
Good day!
Great post!! I feel a lot better know that im not alone. what about people who put silverware into their mouth at such a velocity that they hit their teeth? Kinda like a horse chomping on the bit? Regards to all “Manners Maketh Man” or at least they are supposed to.
you know i get the whole its only manners argument and I definitly agree but manners are the begining of civility. I mean democracy is an extension of civilization. I mean its because we want to live together in world where respect is important and whats quality derives from our ability to live and work together. When people walk around with respect for one another and throw out any consideration for one another isnt that where the worlds big problems begin? Parents are important as teachers and they teach manners and manners are important. In the end though you got to also keep your temper not to mention if you are one of the ones who knows better than you shouldnt be the one spending your time upset it should be the person who is being rude. Good luck ill need some too.
This is also my #1 pet peeve… By FAR. I honestly can’t really think of any other big pet peeves I have that is on the level of this. The sound and look is literally like nails on a chalk board. This also includes playing with food like scraping a fork or spoon over and over in a bowl. The only people I give a pass on this are children and old people, they can’t help it too much so I tolerate it. Other people though.. OMG. I will leave the room until they are done eating or come up with some excuse to go to the bathroom, I need to go, etc.
This includes gum also, smacking, any mouth noises in general. It REALLY REALLY bothers me.
I am glad I found this thread… I was actually searching for it as somebody was sitting next to me. Now, I love a lot of people who do this, so I feel guilty over getting SOOOO mad at them if they do this. I have to realize it is just the food, not them as a person. But yeah, I want to jump up and SCREAM it bothers me so bad. Probably the same as somebody continuously poking me with a stick, that is what I feel like.
Im not so much grossed out by the chewed up food that can be viewed as SO annoyed by the annoying sound that is accompanied by chewing with your mouth open. My husband is guilty of this and it drives me nuts!! One of the MOST ANNOYING sounds in the entire world and sometimes he will try to emulate the sound even when he isnt eating just to get under my skin…..UGH makes me annoyed even thinking about it…good thing I love him so much!
for about a full night after i witness (read: HEAR) this horrid behavior, i make a mental list of why the culprit sucks. i really believe that it’s related to the person’s character.
i love my dad. i have absolutely no “daddy issues”. HOWEVER. he makes me feel emotionally abused when he consumes any food or drink. he can’t seem to decide whether to eat or breathe, so he does both very loudly. but how, with the enormous six forkfuls of food he just shoveled into his freakishly eager mouth? well he breathes through his nose, which is the most audible, and his mouth, since it happens to be open while he smacks and slurps and chomps what sounds like stuffing and banana slugs. now, slurping isn’t too frequent with food, as it might require him to close his mouth for a second. with drinks it is absolutely awful. he had an accident when he was young that required him to get stitches on his lip, so he sensibly has always had a mustache. this accident also required him to drink everything through a straw for an extended period of time, causing him to hate using straws. also understandable. this, however, is a combination of things HARD to be understanding of when he drinks anything. he sips from the cup, and whatever liquid is in it gets inevitably trapped in the forest of doom that is his upper lip hair, and he fixes this by bringing his bottom lip and tongue UP TO HIS NOSE and slurping it back down. yikes. how does my mom deal with this?! well she doesn’t eat, really. she snacks. on sunflower seeds. i think the crazy-loud cracking and sucking of those drowns out any other noises. now somehow, my sister and i have very silent eating habits, and concluded that being irritable to noisy eating has made us…not gross. we also have always related my father’s eating to his being fat and gluttonous. yes we love him, we swear. and we haven’t figured out our mother, though we theorize that she only does this in her own home.
now the other top offender (possibly of all time) is my friend-that-annoys-me. do you have one? the friend you stayed friends with because they’ve been there so long, and when you see them once every other week, tops, they really are lovely. well she used to be reserved, hardworking, and easily liked. somewhere along the line, she developed into a woman and realized she loved attention. she is hands-down the loudest person. ever. her voice is shrill and eardrum-bursting, with a sometimes too-forced shrieking laugh. she is small and thin, but has a walk like her sandals are made of lead. she fancies herself a singer and her voice broadway belt-y. but if i feel like i should be warned before you start singing in my face, “belting” is not the word for it. she is conveniently also rude, because she thinks she knows everything and likes to talk. her personality reminds me of scuttle the seagull from the little mermaid. or an all too real jack from will and grace. now when she eats, it is so ridiculous that it sounds exaggerated. pause…smack! pause…banana noise! now her character also requires her to be way too freaking close to me and in my space, and if i leave my living room with her eating in front of the tv, she will get up and follow me to the kitchen, and then meander aimlessly next to me to do nothing but eat. oh my god, why?! why would you act like you’re shy and can’t be left alone in my house?! you come here like kramer, just putting on my shoes until i throw one at you and eating whatever you please from my fridge without asking until you ask my to spend my last bills on pizza for you! i am not sure how to tell her in the moments that she’s chewing just like a slow cow, that this is probably why men don’t want to see her again after a date, but obviously we are all here because we wish for a little more tact from the world.
if anyone figures out how to get this from people, please, for the sake of decent folks on here, let us know!
What about commercials?
It seems a lot of them have people talking with food in their mouths! It’s so disgusting. I actually wrote the company an email but they’ll probably laugh. Like the yogurt commercials and the jimmy dean sandwich, and a few others. You should write something about these too.
I think the main thing I see, with people with this issue, is they not only open their mouths while talking, but they can’t seem to understand that they should take smaller bites.
One common thing I’ve heard from people I’ve asked to close their mouths while eating is “I have a small mouth.”
It’s not your mouth being too small, it’s the fact that your trying to put two tons of food in. Take smaller bites, it’s that easy! Why do you need to eat your meal in under five minutes, and why do you need to put as much of it as you can in your mouth. This is not the great depression.